Am I like the addiction you had to drugs?

Subject: Am I like the addiction you had to drugs?
From: Liz
Date: 4 Dec 2022

What part about "I'm very attracted to you and I don't think I should talk to you anymore" don't you understand? And why don't I have the self-control to enforce my own words? I know my obsession with you is affecting me in a way I don't like but I can't seem to let you go. I'm addicted.
You're married. You said you'd respect my wishes and not talk to me. But you did. Why? What are these mind games? I don't like them. You should have listened to me because I obviously lack the strength to do so myself. You started talking to me again and even though I knew how attached I was and could get again, I talked to you again too. Because you're like a drug to me. I am so very attracted and obsessive about you. I think you feel the same way but refuse to admit it to yourself because why else would you have started talking to me again after I told you my feelings?
Then if I wasn't confused enough, you tell me your wife has been out of the country for a couple weeks and you've been non-stop doing house projects to stay busy and occupied...and how does that make me feel? Like...oh, yeah it makes sense now. A couple weeks now, around the time you started talking to me again... because your wife was gone and you needed attention. You knew I'd give it... I can't resist you. Am I just entertainment for you when you're bored?
Why am I like this? What is it about you that makes me question everything I've ever known?? I hate feeling this intense want and desire knowing it will never get resolved because I cannot have you. I've admitted my feelings, you need to come to terms with yours. We are both slaves to desire. Who will be the stronger one? Ultimately, it has to be me. Because I truly don't believe you'll admit your fault in this or these feelings you seem to have but won't admit to.
Just leave me alone so I can find the happiness I so truly desire. If I'm distracted by you, it will be impossible because I'll only compare them to my desire for you. And they seem to always fall short.
You have a beautiful, successful, smart wife whom I envy very much. I think it would be very dumb of you to mess up the life you've created with her.... she's a catch. You need to realize what you have right in front of you, I'm sure you do, but you need to really cherish it. Because if you're talking to me, even after you know how I feel about you, you don't cherish her enough. Ask yourself what reason you really have to be talking to me? And being nice and a friend isn't really a reason when I've suggested we stop talking.
It's time I stand by my own words and find the strength I know I lack to break this addiction to you. You're happy, you have your life, you have your wife. Your life is not mine. I need to make my own, not take someone else's.
I wish you the best and I always will.