To All The Bullies

Subject: To All The Bullies
Date: 25 May 2016

Dear All,

I'd name you all, but I fear I would run out of room.

I'd like to think you would see this, read it all, and know I'm talking about you. But you won't.

You were nasty, nasty people. Eight years, you put me through hell. You didn't all know each other - I think you'd all get along swimmingly, encouraged by a mutual dislike of me. You suit each other, I guess.

When I was eleven, some of you told me to kill myself. One of you threw a pencil in my eye like a javelin and nearly blinded me. Most of you called me ugly, fat. You teased my clothes, my hair. You laughed because I was intelligent. That was the first half of you, which continued until I was fourteen.

Then came the rest of you.

The names got worse as we grew older. You mocked me on social media and made public pages about me. You still laughed at my intelligence. You still called me ugly and fat. You thought it was so funny.

At the same time, my father was battling cancer.

My mother was in and out of hospital.

And I was being sexually abused by someone close to me, someone who told me they loved me. Told me I was beautiful, funny, smart. A momentary salve to all you were putting me through.

You drove me straight into his arms.

You mocked me when we broke up and I was distraught. You spread rumours he started to hurt me.

I started failing in school. I did terribly in my A Levels. I didn't know what I was going to do. I considered suicide.

And then you publicly humiliated me, in front of all my peers and all my teachers on what was supposed to be an amazing night.

So I ran from you all. You tore me to shreds. I left school with terrible A Levels, no friends, no self-esteem, no sense of self-worth, Severe Depression, Severe Anxiety and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

I was battling all that, as well as you.

So I haven't seen any of you in three years.

I lived and worked abroad for a bit.

I was given an unconditional offer into university for my dream course.

I was given therapy for my mental disorders.

I was given deadline extensions and exam help.

I have friends. I have a loving partner.

I'm top of my class. I've gotten nothing less than a First for my essays.

I am so smart. I am so beautiful.

I will never forgive any of you as long as I live.

I will not thank you either. You didn't make me strong.

I did.

So fuck you all.