Do you think you’re alone? You got it wrong. There are hundreds of thousands of women out there just like you. From upper middle class to barely surviving class, from those who are with double PhDs to school dropouts, from America to Japan, From white, pale , brown to black, from most glamorous to least caring about their looks. The point I was trying to make is, hitting the big –three-oh club while you are single is not the end of the story. You know what is pathetic? Most people think they have a right to judge you!!!
Yes, the life is not fair and I only can imagine what you’ve gone or going through in your life. Life isn’t comparable. You heard me right! You’re life and your experiences are unique to yourself just like you are! Just because all your friends in 30 something club are either married, engaged or have a significant other, it doesn’t mean you’ll have to follow them. Don’t even dare to think I’m too old, not in my 20s anymore who’d go out with me? Or I don’t even have time or energy to invest on another relationship. You’re fabulous just the way you are. You may have put all your time and energy to your career, to uplift your community, to being a role model to your siblings, to zillion other things that makes you happy. What matters is keep on doing what makes you happy. You know one thing you got dead right and people don’t even appreciate? It’s when you accept that you’re the reason of your of happiness!!
Remember that awful moment you broke up with your ex, and you vowed to yourself ‘’ No more relationships, I’m better off being single’’. When the last time you went on a first date with so much hope this would work out and they disappointed you with being so cynical, less lively or being so negative you gave up hopes on meeting another person or going out on a second date to give it a try. Remember the last time you saw your ex-husband at the court room when you were finalising that awful divorce. Remember the last time you ran in to your romantic interest when they were hanging out with somebody else and you decided to shut yourself down? You got hurt, deeply hurt in all these situations and you reminded yourself ‘’ I do not deserve this, I love myself so never again’’!!
Your integrity to yourself is commendable, I mean it! But remember the moment your close friends asked what happened with your ex- boyfriend / ex-husband or your crush, and you responded ‘’ I don’t think I’m a relationship material’’. That’s when we shall agree to disagree! Do you know -You’re awesome just the way you are!! You have to believe it first. I get this, it’s easy to give up on yourself and stay away from everybody. But it’s great to muster courage and going out for what you truly deserve. You deserve better than that abusive relationship you were into, you deserve better than that relationship you were always trying to compromise everything in your life for, you deserve better than that person who makes you uncomfortable on daily basis but you hung on to them because you didn’t want be single!
The truth is, you did not fail when you became single. But when you decided to give up on you, give up on getting back on the horse and take the rains. It doesn’t matter whether people walk away from you or you decided to walk away for zillion reasons. What matters is believing that everything happens for a reason and you need to move on. When you find the next person you’re interested in take a chance, do not wait until they initiate the talk. Take one step at a time and start slowly. What’s worth trying is to letting others know how lucky they are to have you!!!!
To all 30 something single women out there