You seen me, smoking my brains out in uniform. That was not an invitation to ask to "bum" a smoke off me. For anyone who is reading this - when I said "in uniform" it isn't a soldier, police officer, firefighter, etc. uniform I wear. I work at a fast food restaurant.
Anyway, back to writing to the men who asked me for a cigarette...
I seen you, for a brief few seconds - just long enough for you to annoy me without knowing it. What you probably didn't know was that I was only on break for 15 minutes just trying to get my nerves back to where they should be. It wasn't even 15 minutes by the time I punch out, get outside, and get back inside to punch back in. I deal with the public and I'm actually very good at it, in fact, I got promoted to supervisor because I'm so good at it. What the public doesn't see is my brain when their rude mouths demand so much out of somebody who they think only makes just minimum wage, they don't see me getting into my mom's car after work freaking out wanting to cry because I hate my job so much but nobody else will call me for an interview, they don't notice when the boss says some fucked up shit to me and my fellow employees, they just look they don't see - they just want food for next to nothing, they don't care...
I started smoking a long time ago - more than 10 years ago to be more specific. I quit one time and I actually felt very healthy. Then, I started again. I would absolutely love to quit but work stresses me out so much and smoking is my way to calm down. You'll notice that a lot of people who work with the public either smoke (either cigarettes or something else) or drink alcohol. Everybody has a habit. Mine just costs me over $160 a month. Maybe I should start drinking instead... A few bottles of Fireball would be a lot cheaper and tastier...
It's not like you were underage asking me for a smoke - you both were grown ass men about 30 feet away from a gas station and everybody knows that gas stations sell cigarettes. I 100% guarantee you they wouldn't ID you. You both were dressed like you had some money - one in a half decent outfit the other in construction clothes. You both make money. Buy your own damn smokes!
I would love to know:
1. Why were you asking me for a cigarette? Is $10 so much for something that you want so badly?
2. Again, why were you asking me for a cigarette? Usually people who are addicted to smoking have their own or go buy them right away especially if they're at a gas station (btw, for those reading this, I work at a fast food restaurant that's inside a gas station)
3. To the second man who asked me: When I ignored your question why did you rudely say to some stranger "oh, I guess not!" then after I held the door for you you asked me again knowing that I would say no because anybody with any sense of hearing would hear you the first time. I ignored you for a reason.
To end my letter to you both:
I wouldn't give a cigarette to a minor because I wouldn't want a ticket and I sure as hell wouldn't give a cigarette to somebody old enough to make their own money especially so close to somewhere where you can buy some.
I wouldn't want to give somebody cancer if I had it and I was contagious so why would I want to give you a cigarette? I don't want to be any responsible for somebody's death unless it's my own. Cigarettes are cancer causing.
I'm sorry for writing such an open letter to you on the internet. Just be happy I don't know your names. I know you'll know it's you that asked me and that inner conscious might just help you so there's no next time.
Lastly, out of common sense, please don't bug somebody who is clearly at work on their break whether it's asking for directions
to asking for a cigarette. Everything is annoying at work especially strangers talking to you while you're trying to enjoy your few minutes of freedom.
Thank you.
