Dear Rihanna’s Nipples,
Much like your owner, you truly know how to steal a show.
While the person you’re attached to was there to receive the “Fashion Icon” award, you really got your 15 minutes and I’m a immensely proud.
There is nothing I appreciate more than a show stealer. For example, no one really acknowledged the gorgeous Adam Selman gown Rihanna wore to the event. Instead, we all turned out eyes towards you. I don’t think a single person (maybe, Anna Wintour) looked Rihanna in the eyes all night. Twitter was in uproar claiming that this is a professional event and it needs to be taken seriously. However, you took your job seriously. You knew that you would be on display and you showed up and shut down that red carpet (insert paints nails emoji).
I would just like to...
Fashion
Dear Designers:
Could I talk frankly with you for just a minute? Like some of you, I have been in the fashion industry for a long time (going on 25 years!) and I love it. There is, however, one critical area where our attention diverges. While most of the fashion world is focused on very young, tall and thin women, my clients tend mostly to represent the over 40 woman. As a result (and because I fall into this category as well), I know what she likes to wear.
Perhaps I could provide some insights to help you create your collection for next season? I know that your heart is in the right place and you want women to look and feel beautiful but, oh dear, have you tried your designs on women over 40 who might have a few extra pounds floating around here or there and are probably...
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Dear Susan:
As a fellow fashion lawyer, I applaud what you are doing at Fordham University with the Fashion Law Institute, despite your unfortunate "pink and lavender" comments to New York Magazine, and agree that the fashion industry desperately needs fashion lawyers who have industry insight and knowledge.
I have to say, though, that the comments published in the press, touting Fordham as the legal arm of the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA), have left me disturbed and disappointed.
Law school is suppose to be an open forum — a safe place to share ideas, debate concepts and teach tolerance of all sides of an issue.
While I understand that the CFDA and Diane Von Furstenburg were instrumental in helping the Fashion Law Institute open, it seems that the CFDA will...
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Dear Aila Wang,
How you going?
I understand that you are only three years of age, so deciphering this letter may be a bit of boo-hockey. But nonetheless I feel that I should express how envious I am of your killer style. (Of course, having the esteemed Mr. Alexander Wang as your uncle probably doesn’t suck either.)
C’est chic. Chic to the max.
Though there is about a whole Learner Driver between our years on this earth, can I just say that I kind of want to be you? Really digging this minimalistic thing going on. The sweet Nike kicks too.
Let me know if you ever want to grab a milkshake (perhaps not due to my lactose intolerance) or OJ some time.
Best,
Sophia
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Dear Crop Tops,
I honestly don’t know how to feel about you. I love you and hate you at the same time. As weird as it sounds, I’m pretty sure there are numerous love songs that can channel what I feel about you. Here’s the thing. You magically reappeared last year and now just about every retail store has you for sale. You were HUGE in the 90s but being that I was only a child back then, crop tops were not in my closet at the time.
But here I am. 22 years old and I have a cluster of you hidden somewhere in the heaps of my clothing. Sometimes I regret it. Sometimes I love it. It’s the worst when you want to wear a pair of jeans but all you have are clean crop tops in the mix of your clothes. No, no, no, no. That’s not going to work. Unlike Kylie Jenner, I cannot rock crop tops the...
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Dear Fashion and You,
It was a bright sunny day on Aug 12, 2011 when I decided to use your “popular Ecommerce portal”. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. Full of attractive pictures and “seemingly deep discounts”, let me accept that I was impressed. Excited by your flash sales running that week, I got convinced about buying Rakshabandhan gifts for my sisters. Yay, this would be a great surprise for my sisters!
After purchasing 5 kurtas, I shared the news with my sisters and was as happy as they were. It seemed like a great decision. Yet it reminded me of what my aunt tells me every time I visit her – ‘Kapda dekhe bina kaise kharid sakte ho! Ye online ka chakkar to bekar hai!’, though that’s a separate conversation altogether.
Fast forward to 4 weeks later. Only 3...
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Dear Bearded Hipsters,
YOU GUYS ARE RUINING MY BEARD FETISH. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve loved a man with a beard. To me, they meant strength, power, MANLINESS. Someone who could protect me. Unfortunately, you guys have turned it into a fashion statement. The beard has turned into the padded bra of masculinity. Sure it looks sexy, but whatcha got under there? There’s a whole generation running around looking like lumberjacks, and most of you can’t change a fucking tire.
Look, I get it. I really do. I understand the motivation behind your beardedness. In fact, I even pity you. Thousands of years of evolution priming you guys to kill stuff, and chase stuff, and fuck stuff….and now what? You’re stuck at a desk all day. No battles to fight. No wars to wage. So you assert your...
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Dear Domenico,
I have never wrote you a letter. Maybe because there was never a need for many words between you and I. We always understood each other with a look. This is the first time I write to you and, I have to confess, it all seems strange to me.
During interviews, the sentences we exchange chase quickly, like a game of ping pong: I begin a speech and you end it, you have not even finished to express a thought that I interrupt you, reply and I finish your earlier idea.
Everything is different with a pen and a piece of paper, the words are more difficult, they have a deeper value that will forever remain unique, such as, it was and will always be you for me.
We have created together Dolce...
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Dear Crop Tops,
You might remember me from the scathing note I sent to your sister, the shrug sweater, in 1997. To recap, it said something like: “Why do you parade around like you are a real sweater when you are so obviously just a PART of a sweater?” This was a dark time for teen girls in general: we had to wear unflattering turtlenecks and light-denim jeans and anything else the sadistic costumers on Friends could come up with. But the shrug was the worst. The shrug acted like it could keep you warm or complement any ensemble, when really it just bunched up in your armpits and neglected your core. At best, a shrug sweater made you look like you were borrowing clothes from your baby-aged cousin; at worst, it made you look like style-hating dogs had maliciously eaten the bottom part...
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Dear Frances,
First off, I want to say that I feel really sorry for you this week since the news broke about your $60,000 scholarship to study at Whitehouse Institute of Design. As your passion was to study design, you should be commended for following this passion, and for applying yourself to your studies and graduating with Distinctions. Well done. No one is suggesting that you didn’t deserve to graduate with high grades, and no one is suggesting that it was unfair for you to be accepted into the course in the first place. But what people are upset about, including me, just so we’re clear, is the speculation that you got this opportunity to study without paying for it through your dad’s job and his connections. If this is true, we’re upset with your father. And I should imagine that...
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