Family

Dear Daddy, Nearly sixteen years ago, you suddenly and without warning died. I wasn't prepared at all. I should say, there've been many times that I felt like I wasn't. In hindsight though, many of the adult lessons I've learned and challenges I've faced on my own without parental guidance... are lessons that I would've been ill-equipped to learn if not for your sufficient foundation. You did prepare me, I now realize. A good amount of my positive attributes came from you, Keith Chisolm. Some of the negative ones too. You always told me, "You ain't shit if your word isn't." And it's true. What I miss most about you is how much bigger than life you were. You were one of the most mesmerizing conversationalists. I learned all my vocabulary from you. What I loved about you was that...
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Dear co-parenting partner in crime, When you first suggested moving across the street shortly after our divorce, I'll admit, I had my reservations. OK, I thought you were nuts. But not only was it the best thing for our now teenage son, it made both our lives so much easier. When you called a few years later to say the house behind me was available -- and that our son would now only need to walk some 15 steps between adjoining backyards -- I knew it was a brilliant move, even if it took a few days for me to consider. To be honest, most of that time was spent coming up with quips to use when people raised their eyebrows and asked questions. "Yes, there’s privacy," I'd tell them. "No, it's not some Big Love compound with Bill and his new wife." Like any divorced family, issues...
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Dear Co-parent, Perhaps you have our child, or children, every weekend. Maybe You even have them half the time, or even a little more than I. Regardless, you and I have gone to the law and for whatever reason, the law has used its formula, after pay-stubs have been submitted, costs of living most likely fudged on by both parties, hence making it equal, and an amount of child support has been determined, by the judge, not me, not my selfish money hungry ass, our judicial system. Had I been able to look into the future, when given the option, I would have simply attached your wages. Not to be a jerk, but to avoid having to ever write a letter such as this one. You see, when I agreed to trust that you would make the payments on your own, you were so kind and appreciative. As we...
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Dear Girlfriends With Children, You envy me at times. I don’t have to drag a lawn chair and a travel mug of chardonnay to 10 a.m. soccer games. I can sleep in on the weekends. I envy you at times, like when you come home from the movies and even though your kids and I had a great time playing Freeze Dance and building forts, nothing can ever match the shouts of joy when they see you. You always have a date for the zoo or the latest Pixar release. Now that you have kids and I don’t want kids, our paths are different. Some friendships stay, some stray for a while, some disappear into sticky pages of photo albums. Most likely, though, if we’re still actively friending into midlife, we’ve got something good. Here’s what I’d like you to know about being a Friend (with a capital F) to a...
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To my darling third child, It seems like only yesterday that you were born and yet it’s been almost a year. How did that happen? Your newborn cries and jerky motions have given way to babbling consonants and crawling and all I have to show for it is this lingering baby weight and a general sense of falling behind at everything. I started messing up with you even before the pee dried on the pregnancy test. All those prenatal yoga classes I took twice a week with your sister and brother? I only made three classes during my entire pregnancy with you. With you, I pretty much forgot I was pregnant until the 37th week when I started begging you to come out. I’m sorry for that. Especially since you obliged by arriving one week early. That was truly awesome. Sadly, there were...
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To My Daughter’s “Real” Mother, I remember the day that I met your daughter. She was bright-eyed and inquisitive, barely out of her toddler years, and I was scared of her. Or rather, not of her, but of what she was – my future stepdaughter, a mysterious child whom I hadn’t raised. I was out of my comfort zone that day, afraid that she would dismiss me with prejudice. I was comfortable in my role as mother to my own two rough-and-tumble sons, but she was new, different, and unknown, and I feared that I would somehow fail in our first meeting. Worrying proved to be unnecessary – she inserted herself seamlessly into the games my sons were playing, and the sounds of their laughter quickly filled the air. She regarded me with polite curiosity and excitedly chatted with me...
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I am writing this open letter with the intent to express parents' discontent with some new procedures implemented at Rockbrook Elementary School. A few weeks ago a meeting was held to discuss new after school pickup procedures, and many parents expressed difficulty in understanding the reasoning behind making the playground off-limits until 3:45. Alternate solutions were requested and proposed, but there appeared to be no interest in parent opinions. The time after school is important to most families. It's a time for kids who live out of district to connect with friends, it's a time for families to make friends and network (which will be beneficial when middle school mischief starts), and it's a chance to let the kids expend some energy, since recesses were shortened with the...
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You were my best friend. When I was young you chased away nightmares. You taught me to make friends, to not lie, to always have fun, and to treat others with respect. Last year you left. This isn't about the divorce you caused with your cheating. This isn't about the affair, or the lies, or the alcohol abuse. This isn't about the plane accident your boyfriend got you into. This is about you leaving me. You promised me that you would do anything for me if I just asked. I begged you not to go. I begged you to come home after the hospital. I begged you to keep loving me. You told me you'd always love me, that nothing would change. But here I am, it's been two months since the mother that I was so close to for 18 years has told me she loved me, or has talked to me for that...
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I am writing to provide an overview of the current challenges facing Kensington Palace as we seek to protect Prince George and Princess Charlotte from harassment and surveillance by paparazzi photographers. I hope our experience will inform the ongoing effort to uphold standards on the protection of children in a rapidly changing media landscape. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have expressed their gratitude to British media organisations for their policy of not publishing unauthorised photos of their children. This stance, guided not just by their wishes as parents, but by the standards and codes of the industry as it relates to all children, is to be applauded. They are pleased also that almost all reputable publications throughout the Commonwealth – in particular Australia,...
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"Perverted" "Disgusting" "Freak" "Shemale" "It" "Tranny" Those are just some of the words I've heard used to describe my 9-year-old daughter and others like her. As her family, we've had our share of run-ins with those who disagree with us since her social transition 5 years ago. Some of the gentler conversations stemmed from a lack of understanding about what it meant to be transgender and how a young child could understand themselves in those terms. I welcomed those discussions because they were usually coming from a desire to be educated. I still love having them when the opportunity presents. However, my husband and I have had other conversations filled with intrusive questions filled with implications about my husband's role in the family, why I wasn't stepping up...
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