Education

Dear Ms. Leslie Knope, First, I’d like to commend you and the Pawnee, Indiana, Department of Parks and Recreation on seven brilliant years filled with laughter, tears, more laughter and the occasional cringe of discomfort. Regardless of what the audience momentarily felt, you’ve always left us entertained since the show “Parks and Recreation” premiered in 2009. Suffice it to say, last week’s finale left me even more than entertained: If you ask my roommate, she’ll tell you I hogged the TV with a tissue box in one hand and one of Urbana-Champaign’s finest Insomnia cookies in another. However, what my roommate doesn’t know about last week’s sob-fest is that while you and the rest of the gang were busy saying goodbye, I was busy planning a new position for you here at my university. The...
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Dear Wikipedia, I am Philip Roth. I had reason recently to read for the first time the Wikipedia entry discussing my novel “The Human Stain.” The entry contains a serious misstatement that I would like to ask to have removed. This item entered Wikipedia not from the world of truthfulness but from the babble of literary gossip—there is no truth in it at all. Yet when, through an official interlocutor, I recently petitioned Wikipedia to delete this misstatement, along with two others, my interlocutor was told by the “English Wikipedia Administrator”—in a letter dated August 25th and addressed to my interlocutor—that I, Roth, was not a credible source: “I understand your point that the author is the greatest authority on their own work,” writes the Wikipedia Administrator—“but we...
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We all know that innovation is key to long-term business survival and success, and yet most companies don't proactively manage it. You can quickly assess your own level of "innovation management maturity" by answering the following questions: Have you clearly and precisely articulated the type of innovation that you seek and shared that information with your partners and employees? Have you defined the exact criteria you would use to evaluate competing proposals for innovation? Do you have a clearly defined process for harvesting, evaluating, developing, and implementing innovative ideas? Are employee roles and responsibilities for innovation defined? Do you have a budget for innovation, or at least a general sense of what you could/would spend if...
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It is with great pride I am able to open this month’s Swim...
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Thank you for shopping with us today! I realize that you are traumatized and heartbroken that our store is closing. Driving to our store and spending fifteen minutes trying to find a parking spot is far more convenient than staying at home in your pajamas and ordering your book from Amazon. Your naïve belief that some sort of protest or petition could keep our store open, despite this company’s filing for bankruptcy, gives me hope for the future. Yes, this store is closing. I understand the four-foot tall signs that scream STORE CLOSING! in bold primary colors are somewhat subtle and easily overlooked. To be fair, there are only like 500 of them. We really should have more signs if we expect you to get the message. You’re right: it is completely rude of me to simply nod and point...
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Kansas Legislators and fellow Kansans, I am writing to you today in regard to Senate Bill 56, the so-called “teacher prosecution bill,” which puts teachers at risk of criminal charges for using “harmful” materials in the classroom. I am not affiliated with any teachers’ unions, and I don’t pretend to speak for all teachers. However, as a Kansas English teacher, educated in Kansas myself, I find this bill personally offensive--not because I have an unhealthy attachment to “harmful” classics like Catcher in the Rye and To Kill a Mockingbird. I am offended that my peers in the Capitol find me incapable of teaching such works with responsibility, integrity, and sensitivity. I don’t know when my fellow teachers and I became your enemies, Kansas. I know that you want to protect your...
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Dear Sir: We are writing in respect of the recent results for September/October examination of 2014. Firstly, it is important to state that this is not the first time we are voicing our dissatisfaction on this matter. But the university, in its usual fashion, could not listen to our cries, so we resorted to weep before the public so that the world might become aware of our escalating plight. It is paramount to point out that this letter revolves around the gross inefficiency associated with the university in grading pen-on-paper examination (POP). We are officially "made to believe" that our Tutor Marked Assignments (TMA) makes 30% of our grades while a score of 70% in examination guarantees a total of 100%. Yet, it is unfathomable how, for example, a student would score 25% out of...
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Dear King Salman bin Abdul-Aziz, Assalamu-alaikum. I am a 52-year-old Malaysian-born Muslim. I was raised in a harmonious interracial and interfaith society that accepted and respected other religious practices. The existence of different faith groups was viewed simply as different ways of connecting to the same God. Saudi Arabia started exporting its Wahhabi ideology in the 1970s, and it spread around the world, turning existing interpretations of Islam into one that is dogmatic and violent. The result is a nearly unrecognizable form of Islam. It appears to get worse by the day. Murders, suicide bombings, sectarianism and religious hatemongering have become commonplace. We cannot continue on this path of religious-based mayhem in the name of Islam. The Muslim world needs a...
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January 15, 2015 An Open Letter to Presidents and Deans of Theological Schools in the United States, At its annual meeting at Shaw University Divinity School in Raleigh, NC, African American Presidents and Deans of theological schools in the United States issued a call for action in light of the current state of social justice in the United States of America. One of our leaders, a founding member of the Student Non-violent Coordinating Committee (SNCC), noted that the socio-economic and political realities that led to the establishment of SNCC at Shaw University 54 years ago are actually eclipsed by the realities of this day. In 1960 there were lynchings and robe-wearing Klansmen. Today lynchings occur, but in different forms. Klansmen today bivouac without robes and hoods....
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