To The One That Got Away

You first started going to the same school as I did in the 6th grade. We weren't friends yet and in fact, I didn't even really know who you were until high school. When I saw you that first day of freshman year my eyes just lite up and I knew from there on out that you would be the most beautiful girl I would ever lay eyes on. We started out as friends and we became good friends. We sat next to each other in first hour health second semester and I remember I would always compliment you and I tried to flirt. Keep in mind I was shy around you and cared about what you thought of me so I tried my best not to sound like a creep. I told my friends that I liked you and that I am thinking about asking you to be my girlfriend. They gave me high-fives and they and were surprised and some thought it was funny. They began talking to me about asking you out and how I should do it soon before someone else does. I was really hesitant to do so because we were such good friends and I wasn't ready and most importantly I did not want to ruin our friendship. It was the first day of track practice, shortly before spring break and I chose to ask you out right before practice because we were both doing track. I walked up to your friends and asked if we could talk in private. We went in the hallway that separates the cafeteria and the newly built gym. Not the most private place but I figured it would do alright. I look at you still hesitant to ask you out but I had your attention so I popped the question "Will you be my girlfriend?" I was so nervous about what your response was gonna be, I started to turn red. I could literally feel my face turn red. After I asked the question you said: "Let me think about it." Instantly I knew your answer was no. I was a little sad and disappointed but that didn't change the fact I still liked you. Our friendship was fine afterwards. In fact, it was great. I still did my best to flirt with you and tell you how beautiful you were every chance I got. You were fine with that. It is now the first day of sophomore year and I swear you got more beautiful over the summer. I sat right beside you in 5th-hour world history and that was one of the best classes I had because of you. You made my day better even on my worst days. You made me smile and you made me happy. When we did class work I would specifically ask you for help with an assignment even if I didn't need help. Our friendship was better than it was freshman year and at this point, everyone knew that I liked you more than a friend. And apparently you liked me like that but I never knew that until junior year. At the end of sophomore year, we both had jobs and I think we were the first out of the class of 2017 to get jobs. I got a job at a restaurant busing tables and you got a job at a fast food restaurant. Over the summer before junior year, I got fired from my job. You were the first person I told and complained to about how stupid their reason was for firing me because I knew you would listen. You went through some things as well that summer but that's personal and the only reason I heard about it have I heard people talking about it. Junior year we both started doing more sports and extra circular activities. Well, mainly you. I was doing football, focusing strongly on school, and trying to keep my grades up high. You were working constantly, you were a cheerleader, playing volleyball, and currently you're doing basketball. You didn't have time for anybody. But junior year our relationship started to slowly crumble. I started to like you so much more than I did in the previous. It was to the point where I was in love with you but I didn't want to admit it to myself because I didn't think I could have feelings like this for someone. Another girl came into the picture and her name was Jenna. She was flirting with me hard and I was falling for it but I kept backing away because it was you and only you that I wanted. You and everybody at the lunch table said we would make a great couple and I was beginning to consider it because I didn't think I would have a chance with you. But one Friday morning your sister told me that you wouldn't shut up about Jenna flirting with me and you actually grew mad. Instantly I told Jenna to back off and leave me alone. I talked to your sister about how I should approach this situation and she told me to talk about it with you. That day instead of talking to you like your sister suggested, I asked you out on a date instead. I was so happy when you agreed to me taking you out to dinner. We never did go out on that dinner, though. Things went downhill from there. I went to one of your volleyball games and you did great. That night I found out that there was another guy that liked you. I and he talked about other competition we might have and we both wanted them out of the picture. After that volleyball game, I gave you a hug and you hugged me back. This hug was unlike anything you've given before. It made me feel some type of way. The competition between me and the other guy was escalating. We all planned on going to the Niles Haunted House during blackout night in November. The other guy his name was Shawn wanted to go with us all. I did not want him going at all. I figured if he wanted to spend time with her he can pick a time where it doesn't interfere with what we all had planned. A friend told me to get my shit together before I screw everything up with you. And eventually, I did. Our plans to go to the haunted house got canceled because of the weather so we ended up not going. After all the competition went away I apologized to you for treating it like a competition and how it shouldn't be a game because it is far from one. I started to like you more and I feel like you started to like me less after a while. But this changed. I was in Florida, I bought you a gift. It was a maroon shirt. It was nothing special, but it was your favorite color and that is why I got it for you. I knew you would love it. And you did. When we returned from Christmas break I slowly began to realize that I maybe shouldn't have gotten you that gift. I also was gonna take you out for Valentines Day this year but I don't feel like wasting my money. And here is why. I talked to my brother about how we never dated and how much I liked you.I told him that we both agreed to focus on school and graduate on time but sooner or later that wasn't even the main concern. You just no longer liked me and didn't want to tell me. I told him that I was trying to prove to you that you are the only one I want but I feel like I have been doing that for two years and you still haven't seen it. My brother told me that I should just let nature takes its course and if something happens to us then that's great. But if nothing does happen, then I'll just have to accept you as the one that got away. That was hard for me to process because I didn't want a girl like you to be the one that got away. I loved you too much to lose you like that. That was then. But this is now. I'm not gonna take you out for Valentines Day because I don't feel like wasting my money. I don't think it's worth it. I'm done with you. The other guy named Quan has been trying to get with you on and off for god knows how long. You keep falling for his tricks just like every other girl does. He is the type of guy who builds up a roster of girls and substitutes one out with a different one once he gets bored. He has done this exact thing with you and he won't stop. He is gonna keep flirting with other girls. He is the type of guy that won't commit until he knows he has you. If you want to go with with him instead, that is perfectly fine because honestly I don't care anymore. If you want to get your heart broken by him then go ahead. It isn't my problem. I have given you chances but that doesn't even matter anymore. I have deleted all the messages and I am moving on. I'm done with you. But don't think that I no longer care about you. I still love you and you'll always be special to me. I just realized that we are never gonna be a thing so I stopped trying.