Dear Chris Pratt,
I think you are a lovely, funny, wonderful actor. I like you in everything you’ve been in; Parks and Rec, Zero Dark Thirty, Guardians of the Galaxy, Money Ball, the list, as they say, goes on. And honestly I’m looking forward to seeing you in Jurassic Park this year, as well as the sequels to Guardians and the Lego Movie. But yesterday I read a rumor that Disney wants you for the Indiana Jones reboot, and now I’m worried for you. I’m not worried you’re going to do a bad job (I’m almost certain you’ll do a great job, actually) I’m worried that people are going to tire of you.
I’m worried that you’re going to become the next Jude Law.
No disrespect to Jude Law, he is also a lovely, funny, wonderful actor. But in 2004-2005 you couldn’t throw a stone without hitting...
Lifestyle
Dear Mr Scorsese,
I recently went to see your film Hugo. I knew very little of George Melies. I knew nothing of the book The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Now, thanks to you, I know a lot about both.
I guess I wanted to write and say thank you. I'm 33 years old and, though I have a great appreciation for childish things, very few films make me feel that true sense of wonder as yours did.
The film was perfectly cast, wonderfully directed and shot. The visuals were astounding. While the story was quite sad, I received a great amount of joy from watching your work.
When it was over, I turned to my sister (also a very big fan of the motion picture) and said "A movie made by people who love movies, about people who love movies, for people who love movies".
One thing's for certain,...
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Dear Anthony Lane,
Nearly a year ago I wrote on this blog a response to your colleague David Denby for his review of Inglourious Basterds, in part because he felt the need to spoil the ending of a movie he did not like. In that open letter I mentioned something you did that bothered me: you spoiled the ending of the movie Watchmen, a movie you did not like. I have heard arguments that movie reviewers should be able to spoil movies, because now they are too straightjacketed by "rules." I am sympathetic to this. The ending of the movie is part of the movie, and as a reader I might need to know about it to understand if it is any good. I never really got into Seinfeld until the brilliant final episode, and it was a wrongly mailed to me copy of Entertainment Weekly that spoiled the season...
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Dearest Francesca,
I’m writing this letter to you about the future. I’m looking at it through the lens of my world. Through the lens of cinema, which has been at the center of that world.
For the last few years, I’ve realized that the idea of cinema that I grew up with, that’s there in the movies I’ve been showing you since you were a child, and that was thriving when I started making pictures, is coming to a close. I’m not referring to the films that have already been made. I’m referring to the ones that are to come.
I don’t mean to be despairing. I’m not writing these words in a spirit of defeat. On the contrary, I think the future is bright.
We always knew that the movies were a business, and that the art of cinema was made possible because it aligned with business...
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Dear Quentin,
"It was not my intention to do this in front of you. For that I'm sorry. But you can take my word for it: your mother had it coming. When you grow up, if you still feel raw about it, I'll be waiting."
Remember those words? We'll bet a certain little girl remembers every last syllable. Of course, it's difficult to shake the memory of your mum getting murdered.
It's been a decade since four-year-old Nikkia Bell saw her Pasadena homemaker mum Jeanne Bell – aka Vernita Green, aka Deadly Viper Assassination Squad Codename Copperhead – get crossed off The Bride's kill list in Kill Bill Vol 1. This means that we're well overdue your third course of this delicious dish of ruthless revenge, the ideal present to celebrate the 10-year anniversary.
"The Bride will fight again,"...
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Dear Judd,
Can I call you Judd? I feel like I can. You’re that kind of guy. You’ve built your career out of making movies and television shows that connect with the average dude, the kind that really get what the normal, run of the mill guy is all about. So we sort of feel like you’re one of us. Maybe that’s unfair. You’re probably not one of us, but take it as a compliment. Some have dismissed your work as the dreamscape of geeky man-children, but I don’t think that’s so. Your characters aren’t really immature geeks, they’re just dudes. Sometimes they’re not even dudes, sometimes they’re women. Still, they’re dudes too (dudettes if you must). Sometimes they’re freaks, sometimes they’re geeks, sometimes they’re pot smoking stoners, sometimes they’re lonely, middle-aged men working...
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Dear Hollywood,
We write for the attention of all Hollywood producers, writers, and most certainly directors of horror cinema over the last couple of decades. Quite a lot of you have been responsible for a serious crime, too-often committed against us, the paying horror audience: incompetent and complacent film making. The growing laziness in the genre has become more and more obvious, certainly since the turn of the millennium. We wish to address this by taking a look at some of the major errors you tend to make; horror from the rest of the world does not seem to make these mistakes, and so there is no reason you should:
Anyone can make us jump
The Woman in Black, starring Daniel Radcliffe...Okay so we all love a good jump here and there; trust us, we really do! It is a great...
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Dear Hollywood,
Paramount’s upcoming Noah movie has sparked a national conversation on Bible-themed movies and the audiences they seek to attract. People of faith generally, and Faith Driven Consumers specifically, are the core audience forNoah and other films in this genre as Hollywood’s Year of the Bible Movie gears up.
As such, our community is deeply engaged on this topic.
Faith Driven Consumer represents a movement of people whose Biblically-based worldview is at the very center of their lives; people who view every consumer purchase as an opportunity to do business with faith-compatible companies that respect their worldview and actively engage them in the marketplace.
We advocate for 46 million of these consumers, who spend $1.75 trillion annually.
To be clear, Faith...
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Dear Super Hero Hater,
The only action that goes on when I watch action thrillers is usually my eyes rolling to the back of my head. I hate super hero, action packed, big Hollywood movies. I think they are overdone and obnoxiously predictable. Wow, the world is being taken over by a monster dinosaur, how realistic! I totally relate to the anxiety of trying to save a city from a super villain.
But listen up. Mad Max is not your typical super hero/action movie. It exceeds any expectation a super hero fanatic would have. And even I, someone who loather the thought of going to another world ending movie can confidently and enthusiastically attest to the epic glory that is Mad Max: Fury Road. Don't worry, though, I am not going to give away any spoilers -- just my reaction.
First,...
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Dear Hollywood Liberals,
Stop being pussies.
Quit saying, “This movie will provoke violence against Muslims!”
When I was in high school, I listened to the band Slayer. A lot. And you know what? I didn’t become a Satanist. I didn’t look into the occult, I didn’t read Anton LaVey’s book, and I didn’t skin any animals as offerings to a Goat-God.
It was music, and that’s all.
You’re all so quick to jump to the defense of violence and gratuitous nudity when it suits your needs, which means you don’t get to jump on your standard politically-correct bandwagon here because you think this particular movie might insult a religion or sect.
Have there been anti-Islam Tweets because of American Sniper? Yes. But those idiots were idiots before seeing the movie. Just like listening to...
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