Gentlemen, Scholars and Gronkowskis,
Well, the big day is almost here. I know we've only been together a couple of weeks, but it feels like just yesterday I was sitting in an online draft lobby -- the last pick had just been made -- and all I could do was sit there staring at you guys, my newly formed roster. As five minutes turned to fifteen, I was entranced at how beautiful you all looked together. At that moment, I knew my life would never be the same.
Now of course you all may be wondering, how this team, "Some Brady That I Used To Know," is different from last year's team, "When A Manning Loves A Woman." The answer, quite simply, is that it just is and I'd appreciate if you'd stop bringing this up.
Last year's team was decimated by injuries and Tony Romo. This year's team is...
Lifestyle
Dear Mr. Marlow,
The Human Rights Foundation recently became aware of the sale of merchandise at Urban Outfitters emblazoned with the image of communist leader Che Guevara, at times accompanied by the word "revolución." As a nonprofit organization dedicated to the defense of human rights, we would like to bring your attention to Guevara's bloody and anti-democratic legacy.
Although Guevara's image has appeared on countless items for consumption over the last few decades as a symbol of change for the better, Guevara's actual record is that of a brutal tyrant who suppressed individual freedom in Cuba and murdered those who challenged his worldview.
Che Guevara
A romanticized poster of Che Guevara currently for sale on the Urban Outfitters website
Guevara undoubtedly played a...
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Dear fellow parents,
I am writing to you because I give up. Your child is better than mine. You win. I will no longer play the game of competitive parenting.
I'll admit it, I'm scared. What if by quitting the competitive parent game my kids are doomed to a life a mediocrity?
On the other hand, what if by withdrawing from the rat race my girls have a chance to grow into the people they were meant to be?
Look, I am no better than anyone else who is caught playing this game. I am one of the most competitive people I know. But I now realize that parenting isn't a round robin tournament. Or at least it shouldn't be.
When did parenting become a competitive sport? How did we get from a point of parenting being a part we play in another human being's life to it being a report card...
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Dear Planned Parenthood "petitioner,"
Thank you for the work you have done today. In honor of the hours you spent outside the clinic this beautiful June morning, a donation of $125.25 has been made to the Eastern Massachusetts Abortion (EMA) Fund to help people living in or traveling to eastern Massachusetts access their abortion. With 64 of you present this morning, the donation totals $8,027. That's a lot of people who will be helped by your presence.
142 people came together to make this donation, pledging between $0.05 and $5.00 each, because last Thursday, the Supreme Court overturned the buffer zone law. And people are upset about that -- not because they hate the first amendment, but because this law was put in place after years of violence and harassment outside abortion...
2,665
Dear M.I.A.,
Before we get started here, know that we all had a huge geek-out when we heard you namedrop KONY 2012 on your album on "Boom Skit." Then we had an even bigger moment when we listened to your interview with NPR in which you talk about Jacob Acaye, a Ugandan boy (now man), featured in many of our films. You talked about how you could be in the same category as Jacob -- someone who's come through terrible circumstances and has a story to tell. You said the difference between you and Jacob is that you worked your way out of your situation and tried to tell your own story -- to speak for yourself. You say we went over to Africa, found this story, and uploaded it to YouTube and people listened. You say people didn't listen to you or take you seriously. You think it's messed up...
2,334
Dear Facebook Friends:
Hi. How is everyone doing?
I'm writing this letter to all of you, my 723 closest, bestest, most wonderful friends in the world. It's true that I don't remember who some of you are, but I'm sure we shared an unmistakable bond that led us to become Facebook friends in the first place. Tom, are you the guy from Coppersmith's on 52nd? If so, I'm sorry again I threw up on your shoes. Trish, I believe you're my cousin's best friend's plus-one to the 2004 family Christmas party? Boy, did we hit it off. And Miguel... Miguel... Miguel... I don't think I know you, but you are my only friend named Miguel, so you are staying. Yay, FRIENDS!
The reason I'm writing this letter is that I know I haven't been a great Facebook friend lately. You guys have poked, messaged,...
2,585
Dear Mommy,
You're freaking out, and you're scared to let anyone know. You're exhausted and anxious and run ragged, but you're also in love. It's a new kind of love; a shining diamond of a thing that you had no way of imagining before.
Here it is. The love that made it so you'll never sleep again.
The love that has you hearing footsteps in the hallway at night, the door to the nursery opening.
The love that shut the bathroom door this evening, so that you could take a bath; only, the white light and slippery tile were cold and every time you tried to soap up your hair, you heard a tiny cry that probably wasn't real.
This is the love that will kill you.
It feels that way, doesn't it? It feels like there is no possible way you'll make it as a mom. There is no way you'll be...
2,621
Dear Mr. Hafner:
I am writing to express my deep concern about Kayak's decision to pull advertising from the TLC program "All-American Muslim" in the wake of complaints from a far-right anti-Muslim group that resented the program's portrayal of Muslims as ordinary people facing ordinary challenges. We were also baffled by Kayak's responses to questions about the reasoning behind your decision to pull the ads.
To anyone who respects diversity, the Florida Family Association's insistence that "All-American Muslim" should be boycotted because it portrays "Muslims as ordinary folks just like you and me," instead of as fanatics and terrorists, reeks of bigotry. Your decision to pull advertising from the show following these complaints is extremely troubling.
Kayak's explanations for...
2,531
Dear Daughter (or Son),
Some people are concerned that I am sharing too many details about you and the way you came to be in my public writings. They worry that knowing too much about your biological father, or knowing too little about him, or having an openly gay mother, or two, will cause you unnecessary pain. I have considered their input and decided to write an open letter to you about all this. I begin by acknowledging that there will be difficulties in your life; everyone has things with which they will struggle. And the world we live in is cruel and unfair and riddled with inequalities you will come to know only too well, because of, but not limited to you being Black, and the child of a lesbian immigrant, a loudmouth, a rabble-rouser, and a dissenter of sorts. Your life will...
2,563
Dearest Tim,
According to the Hollywood Reporter, we recently learned that you suffered from a massive stroke some time in July of 2012. We were also informed that you were supposedly well on your way to a brilliant recovery in your Los Angeles home.
That report came to us on May 24, 2013, and since then we haven't heard another word.
No further updates, no inside source report. Because many people know that you and I were friends once, a long time ago, I have received many letters inquiring about what I might know of your condition. Alas, our friendship has not been active for more than 30 years, so I do not have access to your world, as I once did. In short, I do not know how you are and truth be known -- I am profoundly worried about you.
You see, Tim, you shaped my life. I...
2,277