Good riddance: An open letter to ArenaNet regarding my Guild Wars 2 ban

Subject: Good riddance: An open letter to ArenaNet regarding my Guild Wars 2 ban
Date: 12 Mar 2015

Dear ArenaNet,

When you sell someone a game, when you take their $60, you are promising that person a good or service, in this case Guild Wars 2, or as I now call it, Politically Correct Wars. You may have designed, developed, distributed, and hosted the content of the game, but that doesn’t give you the right to take away what the Constitution of the U.S. of A. promises me (and all your other customers from around the world).

Last Thursday when I logged into your so-called MMORPG (how can it count as “online” if you get banned?), I was unceremoniously notified that I had been suspended for 72 hours from the service I paid for. Even though you were willing to take my money, enough money to buy at least fifteen Red Bull energy drinks, you seem to think you can take away my ability to play for no reason at all.

And before anyone claims my ban had a legitimate reason, let me just cut you off and say: you don’t know me. I never did anything wrong, nor did I use your stupid karma exploit for profit. Yet without any proof whatsoever, you made it impossible for me to play my Norn guardian, Reverse Cowgirl, as well as my other toons, Wetback Wunder and Xx Adolf Xx. None of these characters or any of the other guys in the Krytan Krafting Klan was ever involved in hacking, botting, or using curse words. Maybe we called two or three kids faggots, but to be fair they were acting like homos (they rolled Sylvari just FYI).

Fine, so you wanted to piss on George Washington’s grave and make me rename my characters. While I did not agree with this Marxist, fascist decision, I complied because the Klan needed me to help shut down a team of Mexicans who wouldn’t talk English in global chat. I renamed all my characters, and even renamed our guild (changed Krytan to Killerz to avoid your stupid copyright claim) and got back into the game.

Yet the very next day when I went to log in, I discovered all my new characters had been wiped. Not only that, you asshats permabanned me for the horrible crime called Freedom of Speech. I was speechless (no pun intended though you’re probably too dumb to get it) to see that Bbw Cowgirl, Wetback Warrior, and Xx Sniperzzzzzzzz had all been cleared out. I would never get to play as them or any stupid characters in Guild Wars 2 again because your communist policy says I can’t have names that “needlessly disrupt or threaten other players.” You might as well ban the word “tits” while you are at it!

Obviously this letter isn’t going to get my account reinstated, and that’s fine… as far as I am concerned, I’m not coming back to Guild Wars 2. Honestly, the game isn’t even that good… you just took practically everything from good games like WoW and Runescape and renamed it. NEWS FLASH ARENANET: You didn’t invent pointy-eared elves, Blizzard did. And just because games like Tera let you play as a girl doesn’t mean you have to copy it. Who plays as girls anyway?

All I can say is, consider me and everyone else you have banned for no reason to be gone for good. Hopefully this letter and all the people who read it will convince you that when you crack down on people like me, you lose us as players for life. All my friends in KKK won’t be coming back to Guild Wars 2 or any other ArenaNet game. Is that really what you want?

Extremely seriously,