You don't know me, we've never met.
Our sons are the same age, if we lived in the same town, they'd likely be classmates, maybe even friends.
I met your ex years after he abandoned you and your unborn son. I can only begin to imagine the hurt you had gone through. What little I know regarding your situation makes me hurt for you, and I feel immense guilt at the awareness that despite slipping so easily into the role of step up daddy to my own two children, he has never done the same for you and yours. We entered his life at a time he was making huge changes, one of which was to do right by you, to do right by your son. By being part of his life.
The guilt... Oh mama, the guilt... I watch my own sweet babes bio dad cause disappointment after disappointment. I see their little hearts...
Family
I remember loving you being so excited to see you. I was so young and so were they. The night you beat their mom and left was the last time we seen you, talked to you. The two girls were 3 and 5, your son was 8. They barely remember you. I've watched them sruggle with not having a father and it breaks my heart. I've watched them cry and seen the pain thier eyes for 12 years now. One of our friends got married on the fourth, the anniversary of the day you left. We were her bridesmaids, it was beautiful, we had a blast. Your youngest daughter asked me who would give her away at her wedding. And then the time came for her to dance with her father. I looked over to your oldest daughter and she was crying. She asked me who was gonna dance with her at her wedding, because she didnt have a dad....
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I was thirteen. I was thirteen when I found you drunk in your room as you tried to conceal the three beers you had already downed. I was thirteen when you spit hateful words towards me as I questioned your actions. I was thirteen when I ran to my sister and begged for help. I was thirteen when my sister understood what I was not yet able to. I was thirteen when you broke my heart.
Confusing explanations were thrown my way as I buried my tears into my mother's shoulder. The words "alcoholic" and "disease" echoed in my brain until I couldn't cry any more, I couldn't feel anymore. It all came together, and the pretty picture I had painted of my family shattered in my brain, each piece another drunken tale I was coming to understand. You went away, daddy. You went away for two days. When...
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I've been wondering the real feeling of being a parent. What i truly see nowadays that parents all over the world especially the Asians have always been competing their children's success. I think that's so sick. Parents are the one determining their children's future. And that's also sick. You must do that, be that, you must not do that, that's forbidden,i want you to be that because I've always wanted to be that, that's my ambition for such a very long time, you have to get A for that subject, you must not make me embarrassed and the list goes on and on. Why? I don't understand. Is it inheritance? Do our parents inherited those traits from the parents before them? So what's the purpose of living if you keeps on obeying things your parents want you to do? We keeps on obeying, neglecting...
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I've been wondering the real feeling of being a parent. What i truly see nowadays that parents all over the world especially the Asians have always been competing their children's success. I think that's so sick. Parents are the one determining their children's future. And that's also sick. You must do that, be that, you must not do that, that's forbidden,i want you to be that because I've always wanted to be that, that's my ambition for such a very long time, you have to get A for that subject, you must not make me embarrassed and the list goes on and on. Why? I don't understand. Is it inheritance? Do our parents inherited those traits from the parents before them? So what's the purpose of living if you keeps on obeying things your parents want you to do? We keeps on obeying, neglecting...
2,213
Dear Mum and Dad,
Oh my! If you knew the mess I was in I honestly don't know what your reaction would be. My guess is there would be disappointment in your voice and sadness in your eyes. Your baby girl is not as innocent, honest and lovely as you think... I have made choices which are put simply, evil and immoral.
Two years go I fell head over heels in love. With a man ten years my senior, tall, dark, gorgeous. He paid me attention that nobody had ever given me before... I had always been the ugly one at school. The fat one. Funny as f*** but ugly, nevertheless. Everyone's friend but never a girlfriend.
Anyway, he paid me compliments about the way I looked, my wit, my intelligence... Day after day, I began to realise I was falling in love. I suppose its important to mention...
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An Open Letter to the People in My Teenage Daughter’s Future,
Dear Future Friends,
You should know that first and foremost my daughter is faithful and trustworthy, but not gullible, so tread lightly when befriending her, for she can either be your dearest friend or your greatest loss. She will never leave your side. She will laugh with you, cry with you, build you up and stand in the way of anyone who intends to tear you down. I am fully aware that there will come a time when you stand in front of me along side her explaining why you guys did whatever it is that you did. (MINOR trouble only….please and thank you). I know that even the best people make bad decisions sometimes. I hope that you will find joy in her smile, and wipe away her tears when I am not there.
Dear Future...
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You don’t know me, but I am his daughter. I am the girl who now watches her family fall apart. It’s not your responsibility to care about my family or my happiness, but you affect it. It’s not your responsibility to worry about his choices, but you’re part of them. I’m sure he was charming, as my dad is. I’m sure he said he wasn’t happy in his marriage that he was thinking of getting out any number of lines 100 men before him have said to women everywhere, and that they continue to fall for. It’s not your responsibility to say no, it’s his to be better, but I have written my letter to him, this letter is to you. To the women who participate in breaking up families, who know he’s married and don’t care or don’t let it stop you.
I am of the mindset that there is a special place...
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