Mr B,
Always know you are the love of my life, my first and last thought of everyday and the reason I am the mellowed down - softer - slightly kinder version of me.
But you are also the cyanide I drip into my veins in tiny doses. Not enough to kill me quite at once, but sufficient amounts to cause irreparable damage. Never enough to show scars on the outside but nevertheless slowly decaying me on the inside.
I have tried everything I have been advised to do... Go on dates - tick, be alone - tick, talk about it - tick, don't mention it - tick, give someone else a chance - sort of tick, try and focus on something else - tick, be unkind to him - okay 6 out of 7's not bad, right?
I know you are back with her now. Not a lot can be kept quiet where we are! And that is okay. I...
Broken Hearts
Dear mistress/now girlfriend-
It takes a lot of balls to date a married man. I can just imagine how proud your family is of you. To be a new employee at your job and date your forty-something boss, a married man with 2 children. You must be swimming in a sea of self-confidence knowing that he broke up his family, got kicked out of his house and went crawling back to you. Congratulations on scoring the man of your dreams.
Now that he is divorced you are free to share your love openly. You no longer have to hide your relationship and can declare your true love for each other. You can parade around in front of the community, in front of your families and in front of my children. This must be everything you've ever dreamed of. Never mind that he is old enough to be your father...
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First, I need to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I held on for as long as I did without being completely honest with you. I thought you knew how I felt. I thought that you were stringing me along; that you were slowly destroying me. And I'm sorry for holding it all against you. Its not your fault that you don't love me. You didn't mean to hurt me. I did that to myself. I destroyed myself by loving you. By stringing myself along in hopes that one day you would feel the same. But you don't. And that's okay!
Second, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being such an amazing friend to me all these years. Thank you for being there for me in my darkest times. You honestly saved my life. You were the breath of air that I finally got after I had been drowning for so long. You brought...
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What ever happened to that beautiful women i fell in love with ?
The staunch loyal compassionate woman whose heart was governed by deeply embedded values and morals
The women whose thoughtful decisions were based on principle and integrity if nothing else
The women who not only preached these attributes but practiced them and truly lived by them
For they were not bought nor taught but instinctively embedded into your heart and soul from young
What changed ?
Was it your own internal influence that persuaded you to go against everything you once lived by ?
To throw away all those deeply embedded beliefs values and qualities
And instead walk the dark path that leads you past you own corrupted integrity and out into your new world of lies and deceit
Or was it him...
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Boy,
I've written this letter over and over again for months, but I decided to just write everything out and edit along the way. I've tried starting with the usual openings of "I miss you"s and "I need you"s. That, however sounded too needy. I also tried with "I hate you" and "I never want to hear from you again". That doesn't work. So, how will I address the boy who took up four years of my life? How do I talk to the guy who was my first love without even realizing it? The one who threw it all away for someone identical to me? I'll start like this.
As I start packing for college, I literally pass through things that have been small, intricate parts of our journey. I carefully folded the burgundy, confetti covered shirt that I wore for the birthday party you planned for me. I...
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You treated me as if I were nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'm not talking to you, the singular person who made me believe I wasn't worth respect or even consideration. I'm talking to all three of you. The only three people to ever even notice me as more than the girl in the background. That may be all I'll ever be.
You see, the first time this all happened, with that first person, I understood. We were young, and stupid, and we didn't even know what our lives would be like after high school. I had never expected us to be together for the rest of our lives and trust me, I never wanted that. You were one of my best friends and I didn't want to lose you so I thought I had to love you. And you asked me to be you date to the dance. And I was so excited; no one had asked me to be their date...
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Originally written February 27, 2016
http://valeriewetmore.tumblr.com/post/149204524286/an-open-letter-to-my-ex-boyfriend
I guess for me the hardest part about accepting that we’re over is thinking about all the things that were left unsaid. Left unsaid by me, not out of fear but because of your refusal to listen.
You were always so reluctant to show any emotion aside from happiness; which I think is what initially attracted me to you. Every time things weren’t happy though you’d blame me. Say that “you’re always sad” “you’re so dramatic/crazy” “this isn’t a big deal” “I don’t have conversations like this with anybody else”. I’ve been told I’m a highly emotional person before so I decided to listen to you, because I loved you and I didn’t want you to stop loving me. When...
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Let me start out by saying. I know WE put each other through hell and back. I'm just as guilty as you. If not more. I'm even more sorry for not realizing what I was doing until it was too late. I had someone who loved me for who I was and nothing less. And I threw it all away. And for what? To have my heart ripped out by someone else. And when I finally realized what I had done. When it finally sank in. It was too late. You moved on and told me we'd never work. And I should have known this day would come. When you finally got the balls to tell me things were completely done. I just didn't prepare myself well.
And now I feel like I'm drowning once again. I was only ever upset about a guy this bad one other time in my life. And that just proves how much I loved you. I really truly did....
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I don’t hate you but I’ll never like you. A couple years later from that first night I went home with you which led to many more and eventually a relationship, you still creep into my mind. I remember how happy you made me in that first month and I thought “wow could this be it?” Now I realize how naïve I was.
The nights we spent laughing together turned into nights of shouting at each other with it usually ending in tears. I remember all the times I thought, this was not the kind of relationship I want and yet I still stayed with you praying for that honeymoon phase to come back. The fighting went on almost every night and slowly my self esteem got worse until you made me feel like I had none at all. I remember at one point you made me feel so bad if I didn’t want to have sex for one...
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The first time I met you, from the moment you said hello, I knew something would happen between us. I never acted on it though and nearly forgot about it since you had a girlfriend of many years already. I knew right away that you were a great, kind, and funny person. After we met, we soon began to dislike each other. Neither of us had any real reason for this dislike but nonetheless, we could barely stand talking to each other.
As time went on, we slowly began to grow a friendship. It took many months, but we got to the point where we could talk for hours and never run out of laughs and things to say. We became best friends to one another. Not long after, you and your girlfriend of many years broke up because you found out she had been cheating on you for quite a long time. You were...
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