More Open Letters

Dear Parents:

On behalf of your friends without children, I’m officially serving notice...

1,5885852

After being in a fairly long-term relationship my friends and I decided it would be good for me...

1,0258328

Dear Havingsaidthat,

A certain tentativeness of opinion has become fashionable of late....

8732139

Dear Facebook,

Go ahead, take whatever you want. I won’t try to stop you.

Utilize...

1,4313847

Dear Job Market,

1,1003539

Dear Elf on the Fucking Shelf,

You’re a book, a doll, a keepsake box. You’re an iPhone...

1,2318495

Dear Today Show:

During an episode I randomly watched while I was hungover, you invited a...

1,0994631

Dear Self-Interrupters,

You don’t know who you are, but I do. I’m the one listening,...

8743945

Dear Class of 1994,

I regret to announce my resignation as “Most Likely to Succeed.”...

7253715

Dear Targeted Online Advertisers,

I hesitate to write this, because honestly, much of...

1,0444159

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