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Dear Hummingbirds,

Hey, would you take it easy already? What’s the freakin’ rush,...

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Dear Jeepers Creepers II,

I see that a thin layer of dust is gathering on you. And that...

1,1275157

Dear Unemployment,

Nearly 15 years have passed since our last forced pairing. I treated...

8327267

Dear Unemployment,

Nearly 15 years have passed since our last forced pairing. I treated...

9226871

I am writing this letter as an individual who is tired of our culture's obsession with...

95210056

Dear Mr. Miller,

I’m thrilled to be writing you. How admirable that you started a company...

8765787

Dear Low-Cut Pants,

I’m told that you feel grievously injured by my “radical” decision to...

1,2923941

Dear Eyebrows,

8554047

Dear Whoever Broke Into My Car This Morning,

Hello, oh pirate of the back streets, and...

8946158

Dear Global Warming,

I know I’m not supposed to like you. I’ve heard about your grandiose...

1,1444145

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