So i as going to start this letter off by say something completely ignorant .. but I'm better than that so we will start with something else. Sunday, January 12th 1975 ... you gave birth to a little redheaded girl.. No other children yet, but I believe a few miscarriages before this baby girl...one would think two parents would be ecstatic... I never could sit back and really put much thought into it, I'm guessing because I was young, and didn't have children of my own yet.. But now at the age of 42, I have raised the most beautiful, kind hearted, perfect soul that I could ever have dreamed of having the honour of parenting. As we get ready for her to go off to University in August, I see her dad and I struggling tremendously, with the thought of not having our baby girl around all the time. We both know we've raised her well and she loves us more than we know, but that is our most valuable treasure, and my heart breaks with the thought of me not being with her..... which leads me to you both. You are gifted this precious gift from God, you have a large wonderful supportive family....and yet three weeks after you recieve this gift, THREE WEEKS...you decide to take her to her grandparents, and request their help because this baby is terribly sick... nearly dead sick. The grandparents who raised you Mr. Lafave, along with your 14 siblings. Yup 15 children! So part of my problem is, not understanding how you could do that to your parents who have raised this many of their own children, and then how could you do this to them when your mother was struggling with the loss of her own mother. Was there a need to throw as much on her to see how much she could take before failing ?
This woman's youngest child was 8 yrs old at the time, and she slept on the couch with a three week old baby in a cradle next to her , feeding her every 30 minutes with an eyedropper....for weeks on end... because she was so malnutritioned and neglected. She did this and still continued to take care of her family day in and day out.
But it gets better .... you left her there! YES you heard me correctly, you abandoned your newborn baby. . This is what I can't grasp. I'm struggling letting my precious girl go off to school, and here are two parents who just drop off their child and never look back.... I guess it's a good thing i can't comprehend this, if I could , that would make me a sorry human being as yourselves.
I know everyone is thinking wow, that's quite a story , but trust me, I'm not done. Three months after her birth .. Yup THREE MONTHS... surprise ! You're expecting! not puppies, or kittens, or even just company....no you're expecting a BABY!! I'm joking right ? Nope no joke. So let me guess, you're expecting a new baby, and your first born is now 9 months old and brought back to health, and the hardest part was over now, so you decided you wanted her back, so you can have this beautiful little family ? You let a family get attached to this baby girl for 9 months, and then you decide she's yours and you want her back ,and rip their hearts out.... not only theirs.... but your daughters! This was the only family she knew( although you did have the balls to drop in here and there, and visit with your family, say "hey" to the baby, like nothing was wrong) that was her mommy and daddy and sisters and brothers, who all loved her like she was their own...but enh...what could they do.... we're going back to 1975, a couple is raising 16 children...there was no legal adoption....there was no money for anything legal to protect this child from you. So this poor woman, and her entire family, while absolutely torn to pieces, pack up this baby and everything she owns and hands her over.
That's it, right ? As if it's over.... one day...you kept your daughter for one day, called her grandparents and stated she was sick, come get her. I'm really really trying to find words for this...but I'm at a complete loss ..
So off they go to get this baby...she was sick....HOME SICK!
So off she goes back to her home with her grandparents...and you continue to visit... like everything is normal....
So then comes the new baby.... that poor precious angel didn't stand a chance did she?
The first born was alive because someone rescued her... this angel passed at 8 days old. May God bless her precious soul..i won't get into all of that story, you will meet your maker one day, without me calling you out on it, and that will be enough for me. So a few years pass , 7 i believe, and poof There's a baby boy. Your family stayed close enough for the sake of these children., if It wasn't for your sisters staying with you most days , he wouldn't be here either.... So then he survives and he's a few months old and you decide you're going to move to Saskastchewan... why not right? Why not take this baby's family from him too. Few yrs go by , and more news...another baby ! Wow, you sure know how to knock em out don't ya?! Well thank goodness for that baby girl that her aunt was out west when she came along , so she could take care of her and make sure she survives.
You continue to call your daughter here and there, just like mom and pops are poppin in to say hi to their daughter... random trips down east to visit the long lost daughter. Her grandparents always let her know that they were nanny and papa and aunts and uncles.. there was no deception on their part. Your children are now 4 and 6 i believe..you come visit, and leave them with their grandparents because you have business to take care of.....WHAT?! you are gone 5 weeks or more! That poor soul, I remember her saying to one of her own daughters " I can not do this again! They did not just leave these children here....again?! You did eventually come back...
Then when the first born was 18 yrs old , you went to visit, and the words that came from your mouth were " don't you have a hug for your father?!" Everyone was looking to see who you were talking to. At that visit you had the two siblings as well as a 6 month old baby that you claim is yours... (nice try. Maybe yours Mrs Lafave, but she sure as hell isn't Your husbands) maybe she came along when you took off to Thunder Bay to be with your affair while he was in the hospital due to a heart attack...? Oh and don't forget the little girl that you said "you felt so bad for because her mother just left her with you,!" You're kidding right ??
But here's where things get really interesting ........
**** YOU !!!
I have shut my mouth long enough, and because my mother that raised me wouldn't let me be disrespectful. But it's been long enough! I thank God every single day that you left me there... because not only would I not be where I am today, but I wouldn't even be alive. I had a wonderful life because of you being the awful people you are. .. but even though I'm grateful, I was angry, and confused. WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH ME !!??
( I learned that, that was normal. Even though you know they are bad for you, and you're better without them, you still feel the need for them).
An innocent newborn...what could I have done wrong at three weeks old to make you want to harm me and toss me aside? Oh wait, you
had an explanation.These horrible people( your mother and oldest sister) threatened to take you to court and prove you unfit if you tried taking me from them. Funny thing is, I have a daughter and have had vindictive people claim I was unfit, shit I have a stepson who's mother accused me of being unfit... my response ? BRING IT BITCHES! I WILL MEET YOU THERE! As a parent you protect your children, no matter what you're fighting up against. UNLESS.... you have something to be worried about.... Or better yet, you're just full of shit! wondered that for many years ... 42 years you have made your child wonder why her , what was wrong with her...
I have a beautiful family, and despite being birthed by you both, I am a GREAT PARENT!! I fought for a child like my family fought for me. A child who wasn't mine, and I made him mine, because that's what moms do!!! I do hate you....and I don't care if I ever see either of you again... but I don't hate you for the reasons you think. I hate you for giving your children a sister that can't be the big sister they deserve. I hate you for lying to them to hide your shitty actions, I hate you for bringing children into this world and screwing with their lives. I hate you for burdening your family with what was your responsibility. I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE you for treating the woman who raised your child because you are a coward the way you did! HOW DARE YOU!!!!! Karma will have its way with you both.
Bur, although I'm upset for all these things you have done, and I feel like I owe you absolutely nothing... I do owe you one thing...i owe you a tremendous THANK YOU!
THANK YOU for giving me away.
THANK YOU for abandoning me to the most wonderful parents I could ever ask for
THANK YOU for allowing me a chance at life that I would not have had with you
THANK YOU for not perusing a relationship with me
I can not thank you enough for all of this , for without it , I would not be who i am today. I would not have had the love of a wonderful family, I would not have had the most precious mother and father, I would not have the friends I am blessed to have, I would not be married to my amazing husband, and lastly I would not be the MOTHER I am!!!
So, by all means , enjoy your life , without me, I'm enjoying mine, without you.
The daughter you didn't want to know.