To People Who have Cheated

Subject: To People Who have Cheated
From: A Cheater
Date: 30 Nov 2017

this letter is in no way a justification for my actions or the actions of others. there was a guy i met and at the time we had no idea we were even attracted to one another. He was in a relationship and i respected it. When his relationship ended i helped him meet new women and we bonded. he shared all of his ridiculous stories of hook ups with random women, we seem to bond over life changes. i kept his secrets, he kept mine-there was trust but still no attraction. Not until New Years Eve, when i basically witnessed his girlfriend cheat on him standing only 5 feet away from us, then he was humanized to me. he continued to come to me with his issues, problems and secrets. i listened and took his emotions into consideration. now we were both single and i did not want to spend the rest of my life thinking- what if? so i did it, i kissed him and wow did things move fast! we slept together and would continue to do so as single people- but nothing serious. The sex was amazing it was like he knew what i didn't even know i liked. i really thought we had something and then nothing---for a long while nothing.
When this certain someone decides to emerge back into my life, i made a decision to move on and date, so did he. we still would exchange harmless flirting, but nothing more. Then one night i was mad at my boyfriend, so i called him up for a drink, we both knew the real reason i called-so he picked me up-we drank and spent the night together. we cheated. i wasn't really broken up
just mad. naturally my boyfriend and i made a mends and they know each other so we kept quiet about every thing.
He would eventually go on to marry the girl he cheated on with me. he and i managed to stay friends, no sex, until like a year ago. now we see each other all the time-we can't help it.
we both know what to say to each other to break the other into meeting up for sex and to actually talk and share things.
Its terrible because we are both supposed to be committed to other people but we don't and haven't stopped. Did we miss our moment? were we supposed to be?
i tell myself to stop and will go months, but it always ends up to be the same, we find each other.
I don't know what will happen
I don't know if we will stop
I don't know how to feel or not to feel
All I know is that i just needed to let this out to strangers because i have no friends to tell...

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