I woke up at 3am and immediately reached for my phone to see how the election was shaping up. I was sad (though not surprised) to find that Trump would likely become the next President of the United States. I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn’t resist refreshing the page that was reporting results live. I gave up on sleep and moved to the couch, where I switched between the plethora of social media platforms—all filled with the full spectrum of emotions. I don’t know why I couldn’t put it down, it was clear what was happening. Watching it unfold wouldn’t change anything one way or the other. Finally, around 6am, I went back to bed.
I woke up again at 8:30 with the same feeling you have after something really bad happens. You probably know what I mean—I woke up and, for a second, I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t remember what it was. As millennials do, I immediately went to check my phone again...just to make sure something drastic hadn’t happened. I sat there scrolling through various social media platforms. My husband came in, hugged me, and quietly said, “I’m sorry.” He said it as though somebody close to me had died, and somehow it’s also how I felt.
Now, I know I’m being melodramatic, it may be ridiculous to feel so sad about something that probably won’t really affect me. I am a US citizen, but I don’t even live in the United States...why should I care? That’s the thing, though. I do care. I care a lot. Apparently, I care even more than I thought I did. Though I may not live in the US at the moment, it is still my country, and my attachment to it is not lessened because I am not physically there. Since Wednesday morning I have been walking around mulling over what this means, and feeling very sad about the implications of the results of this election. I imagine those liberals posting things like, “now is the time to stand up and fight!” telling me to put on my big girl panties and do something about it, and maybe this is my way of “doing” something about it. I’ve tried being optimistic. I’ve tried telling myself, “it’s not my problem to worry about,” “I wasn’t too excited about a Clinton presidency anyway.” These things haven’t worked. I still feel sad and unfocused. I still have a bad feeling about what’s to come.
Though it may be cowardly, it seems the “Open Letter” has become the Internet’s go-to method of expression for people who have something they want to say, but don’t know who to say it to, or are too afraid to discuss it with the people they would really like to discuss it with. In my case, I suppose it is the latter. My family is conservative. They are hard-working, honest people, and I love them dearly. I love them dearly and I fear what would happen if I said these things to them. They know that my feelings are different, but I fear that anything I said might come out as an accusation. I do wish we had a relationship that allowed us to talk about these things without getting angry and defensive. I know I am just as guilty of getting angry and being defensive as they are. I also know that my situation is not unique—lots of families around the world have the same issues that we do. I don’t really have a goal with what I’ve written. Mostly, it’s a catharsis for me. I need to get these thoughts out. But I also feel that I’d like to share them with someone. If you are a Trump supporter and you read this, I hope that I can write this in a way that helps you see I’m not your enemy, and that my dislike of Trump isn’t an indication of my feelings for you. If you’re like me and feel sad and scared, I hope it helps you in some way too.
An Open Letter to Trump Supporters.
I’ll begin by addressing the first point of defense of many Trump supporters by saying, “You’re right.” I am exactly what you think I am. I am the epitome of privilege. I am a white, upper-middle class female. I write this on my expensive laptop, in my very comfortable apartment. My brand new smartphone sits next to me. I have a master’s degree that I was fortunate to have paid for by a combination of my parent’s help and scholarships. The only problems I have are uptown problems. Everything I have, I have because I am extremely fortunate. I have a wonderful husband who loves me in spite of myself, I have parents who have supported my every whim unconditionally, even when they didn’t understand my point-of-view. So, you’re right, what do I know about hard work and suffering? My answer: not much. I don’t know much at all about anything. But I am not the one that I am afraid for. I am afraid for those who do know what it means to struggle. Those who have had to be brave and are in danger of losing any progress that has been made because of this man.
I may have my own illusions, but I know that this won’t change your mind, and that’s not my aim. The social media posts of Trump supporters have pointed out how they have just saved the country from the hands of smelly liberals. Maybe you’re right, I’m not a political expert. To say I know a lot about the political system would be a lie, and I strive to learn more about it. In some ways, I don’t even disagree with you, I often read things written by the far-left that disappoint me as well. Just as there are bad people in the world, there are bad liberals, there are good liberals, and the same is true of Trump supporters. The world is not, and never will be, black and white. I like Obama, and I admire him, but I don’t think he’s perfect or that he did everything right. Like many Trump supporters, I do feel disillusioned to the reality of politics. Like those supporters, I do want a President who is going to make everything better. Unfortunately, I’m not sure that is what the reality of a Trump presidency is going to be.
I am, what many might call, “a dim-witted liberal.” I don’t think socialism is a dirty word. I support a woman’s right to choose what she does with her body. I don’t think someone should be paid less because of their gender. I am fearful because I think we are destroying our planet more quickly than we realize. I think that love is a hard thing to find, and if you find that with someone, regardless of who that is with, you should be able to love that person as freely and openly as you like. I don’t believe that it’s okay to judge someone based on their ethnicity or race. Somehow, these have become “liberal” values, though I don’t see why a conservative person can’t have these values as well, especially since many of them have nothing to do with politics at all. Yet, somehow these have become the divisive issues of this election.
Liberal though I may be, I have often defended more “conservative” values. I grew up in a red part of a blue state, and then later, in a red state. Many people I know and respect are “conservative,” and I don’t think having different political views makes you a bad person. I’ve defended your right to own guns. Though I have no interest in owning one, I also know that most gun owners are not what the media has made them out to be. I grew up shooting guns with my family, and I was always taught that shooting a gun wasn’t something to be taken lightly. I know that a responsible gun owner doesn’t have a problem with laws that keep guns out of the hands of people who shouldn’t have them. I also know that you probably work very hard to provide for your family. You do all this without anyone else’s help. It feels unfair to allow other’s to piggyback off of your blood, sweat, and tears. America is a country built on the idea that you can always pull yourself up by your bootstraps. It is my opinion that this optimism doesn’t exist in the same capacity in Europe, and it is this eternal optimism that makes me love my country the most.
Trump’s incoherent political strategy is not what makes me so sad, though it does frighten me. It isn’t that you didn’t support Hillary that makes me sad. I can understand that many people want “change” and don’t believe that is something we would get with her. What truly makes me sad is that the American people have elected a president who seems to believe it’s perfectly acceptable to use a woman as a sexual object without her consent. That a woman’s appearance is what is important, not what she can contribute to society with her mind. Though you may not believe it, rape culture is very real. Rape culture is why I recently read a post in a women’s social Facebook group about where to buy pepper spray, and how to use it without getting it in your own eyes. Rape culture is why I don’t go running without my “criminal identifier spray paint” (pepper spray is illegal in the UK). It’s also why, when I am walking by myself, I walk with my keys spread between my fingers in the pocket of my jacket, and why I get nervous when I have to walk past a group of men, especially if they appear to be drunk. Rape culture exists because men are brought up to believe that women exist for their amusement and because little girls are taught to believe that boys only pick on them because they “like” them. What else are we supposed to believe when the President-Elect says that he can kiss or grab any woman he finds attractive simply because of who he is. I wonder if you’ve ever imagined a woman you care about being the butt of sexual harassment such as Trump’s. If that was your daughter, your sister, or your mother that Trump wanted to “grab by the pussy,” would you be OK with it? Would you still have voted for him? Even if it was just “locker room talk?” I acknowledge that Trump is not the only person guilty of this type of behavior. I know the Clintons are also guilty of encouraging this culture we live in, but the evidence against Trump is not disputable. There is video evidence of him saying many things like what we saw in the infamous video.
Trump’s VP, Mike Pence, is apparently a long time supporter of conversion therapy for “fixing” homosexuality. This is despite the fact that no medical association (e.g. the American Psychological Association and the American Medical Association among others) supports this archaic method of therapy because there is nothing to fix. You might say, “I have religious beliefs that prove to me that homosexuality is a sin.” I am not unfamiliar with your feelings, I know that your convictions are strong. Though I can’t speak for other religions, I do know that Christianity is not incompatible with homosexuality. Last time I was at home, I had one of the first conversations with my dad that left me feeling proud. He has always disagreed with homosexuality, but the church they go to has many homosexual members. My dad went to bible study and talked with fellow members about how he was feeling. He asked them to help him understand how they came to terms with what their beliefs and homosexuality. Someone said, “It’s simple. Hate the sin and love the sinner.” I’m not an expert on the bible, but in chapter 5 of Matthew, it says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Though I don’t agree with the sentiment because, in my mind, there is nothing wrong with being a member of the LGBTQ community, it certainly demonstrates to me that Christianity is not incompatible with tolerance, in fact, it encourages it.
There are many other issues that make me sad. His attack against Muslims, his comments about Mexicans, and even his comments about other politicians. He’s entitled to his own opinions, but now his opinions are shaping the future of the United States of America. I am afraid because of Trump’s seeming inability to control his reactions. In the third debate, when accused of being Putin’s puppet, his immediate reaction was to say, “No, you’re a puppet!” What does this response do? Was it meant to hurt Clinton’s feelings? I’m not sure. What it demonstrates to me is that Trump doesn’t use the 5-second rule many of us are taught as children. That is, think about what you are going to say for 5 seconds. If it still seems like a good idea after that, then say it. Obviously, most of us (myself included) are guilty of saying things impulsively, but most of us are not responsible for the fate of an entire country.
My hope right now is that I am wrong about all of this. That Trump will be a great president, and that much of this behavior was done purposefully. I will be happy if I am wrong, but I will still be sad that Trump felt he needed to appeal to the darkest side of human nature in order to win. The election is over and I accept that. I hope that we can all remember that regardless of our political views, we are all simply human beings. We are all doing our best, even if what’s “best” in my mind might be “worst” in your mind.
