Open Letter to the Thief Who Stole My Car

Subject: Open Letter to the Thief Who Stole My Car
From: Dashing Dad
Date: 4 Jun 2015

Dear car thief,

First off, I hope you get a hold of some tainted meth and you have horrible nightmares of spiders crawling into all of your bodily orifices. Second, while I don’t think you are as bad as rapists, murderers, or child abusers, you are pretty much dirt bags that have no place in society.

At the end of May, you stole my car. MY car, not your car. It was a 2002 Honda CR-V that was parked in my driveway. You had it 17 days until you drove it into something because you were so hopped up on whatever mind-altering substance that has ruined your life, you couldn’t drive straight.

That car was my first brand new car. Heck it was the first car I ever had that was less than 10 years old when I got it. It had 8 miles on it when I first got the keys. I took my dogs to the beach in that car. I took the family to Disney World in that car. I drove that car to archaeology digs. I went to many races in that car; most I ran, but some I cheered, or volunteered, or paced somebody. I took my pregnant wife to the hospital with that car for both of my kids. I took both of my kids home from the hospital in that car.

That car saw more of the country than most cars. It went through nearly every county in Florida, up to Virginia, and across all the southern states to California. Despite all that travel, it only had 93,000 miles on it. Because it was a Honda, it was just starting to get broken in. I took really good care of it, there were no major dents or tears in the seats. I was probably going to keep that car and let my son have it when he turned 16. My son is still pointing out similar cars and asking, “Is that your car, Daddy?”

You took that car, my car, from my house, and you disrespected it when you had it. Of course, you have no respect for yourself, you resorted to stealing stuff to pay for whatever drugs you were on, so why would you respect anything else? Not only did you take all of my stuff ( including the race stickers off the car, my stereo, the Jack in the Box kid meal toy of Animal I had on my rear view mirror for 10 years, and my kids’ car seats), you couldn’t even keep control of your cigarettes and you burned holes in the seats. Question, why do all low life, scum bag, worthless pieces of feces like you, smoke cigarettes? I know that not all smokers are bad people, but it seems that all bad people are smokers.

But I digress. You cut chunks of plastic out of the steering wheel and arm rests. You tore the carpet out of the driver’s side. Then, you crashed into something. You damaged the internal frame of the car.

I may have been at peace if you were able to use the car to transport your kids to school or go to a job so you could get back on your feet. I would have been happy (almost) if I knew that my car was able to continue providing a sense of worth to somebody. But no, you didn’t use this opportunity to do good, you tossed that way like you do with everything else in your life. Life must really suck for you, and maybe I should feel sorry for you, but I don’t.

I have worked hard for what I have, I haven’t had to take advantage of the weakness of others, and I haven’t taken the easy way out if it was going to adversely affect somebody. You didn’t do this, when things got hard, you fell into a bottle, drugs, crime, etc. I think you are dumbass, self centered prick who should be taught a lesson. Why do you deserve even a bit of pity?

What really sucks is that you won’t ever get caught. The police didn’t bother to do an investigation, no CSI DNA analysis of hair follicles to find you. They didn’t even do finger printing or look through all the stuff to find clues as to who you were. They didn’t even notice the pill bottle with a name on it (which was probably stolen anyway.) I am not going to fault the police, they have other things to do, keeping us safe and stuff, but it still sucks.

So, to sum up: You are a scum sucking gutter snipe that deserves to rot in a jail in some third world country, US jails are too good for you. I am out a car, but insurance covered most of it. And until I get a new (to me) vehicle, I really am a stay at home dad. There will no be trips to the zoo, the pool, or the museum, or anywhere this week. We will have fun at home.

Sincerely,

Dashing Dad.

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