Dear Teachers,
Please accept my apology for lack of follow through this summer. During spring conferences, you offered resources to keep my children smart over the summer, yet I have failed in many areas. Let me count the ways.
Neither of my daughters solved one math problem this summer. Although, I did request they calculate sale prices when back-to-school shopping. I’m hoping this counts for something.
Sugar was its own food group. The number of cake pops alone constitutes a need for a veggie intervention.
Sleepovers have caused my 12-year old to look like an overworked lawyer trying to make partner.
“Boy crazy” happened. If there is a boy with the initials R.G. in class with my daughter, her focus will be on him instead of you. I have no idea how to handle this on many levels.
Books were read and notes were taken. This is my one bragging point. Although the title, “The Uglies” has me a bit concerned. My inner 8th grader thinks this book was written about me circa 1986.
I have enrolled both daughters in A.P. and enriched classes because I think they can handle it. If I witness a nervous breakdown, then we know I was sorely mistaken.
My daughters are pros at selfies, however, they spelled “kiddie cone” as “kitty cone.” This has me incredibly worried. See #6.
If either daughter attempts to include an emoticon in an essay, please communicate immediately. I will ban, smash, or burn phones if needed.
To avoid the cliché “Top Ten” list, I am ending at #9. I wish you the best of luck. Please don’t egg my house.
Sincerely,
Kelly Nordstrom
