An open letter to THE stuntman of my mending heart 1/3

Subject: An open letter to THE stuntman of my mending heart 1/3
From: Teal
Date: 16 Sep 2016

You wouldn't find the alias funny, probably, but you tend to startle me with the way you execute your exhibitions. It amazes me, really, seeing you all giddy and proud as you see me cheering louder and adorably giggling. My tiny stunty, please keep my eyes from getting all teary. Another nickname you say? Maybe /my/ frustrated wrestler since you seem quite odd in cuddling; it's not too much for you to comprehend. Easy.

I find it funny though. This playlist I've been streaming through reminds me of you. "I'm reaching out to you, can you hear my call?" Fuck you, you heartless immature prick. These words were uncalled for, neither was my heart hanging on; basically grasping for air, on a tip of an iceberg, about to slip down and break into millions of pieces; slowly turning into cold lifeless stones floating along the shore by then. I mean I wouldn't put the blame on you. But come to think of it, maybe I should. You won't see me completely sorted, no one else will, EVER. Will you be able to take responsibility? "I'm missing you like crazy." But babe, it wasn't two-sided anyway, it never was. I guess the actual existence of 'us' was never given as a choice-- it wasn't even close to a possibility. We are the epitome of a mismatch placed in an eye of a tornado. We weren't a calamity to destroy those who surrounds us. We are our own disaster, a mess that was ought to be disposed in separate bins right from the beginning.

I'd stay, please beg me to. Have pity. Consider me. Please do. No? Really? Just no? If I ask why, will you give me an acceptable reason? Anything really. Anything but her. Just don't. Not just yet. I'm fine-- I'll continue being fine. The fact that I am the point in an ellipse will remain, because I don't exist- maybe I used to-- or so I thought. "I'm jealous of the way you're happy without me." I'm sorry. I'm sorry I thought you'd come back and pull me closer. I'm sorry for caring too much. And I'm sorry I fell for you.. again.

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