An Open Letter to the One Who Both I Hurt and the One Who Hurt Me Back…

Subject: An Open Letter to the One Who Both I Hurt and the One Who Hurt Me Back…
Date: 7 Jan 2017

Hello, it’s been a while since we spoke. I still recall those days in college when we had the same class. We would hang around before class started. I saw you as a great friend, who needed help in the class but more importantly a guy for my friend at the time. But as the semester ended, our friendship developed to something more. I was in a rocky relationship with a terrible guy, you saw that, my friends saw that, my parents saw that, everyone did but me. But you stuck around, never once you tried to hit on me or make me cheat. You were a good guy.

I still remember the day when I told you I broke up with him. You were just coming home and on the train. And once I told I you I broke up with my boyfriend at the time, you told me everyone was looking at you because you jumped and screamed “YES!” I never told you just how happy that made me feel. At the time, I was scared of telling you just how you made me feel. Weeks went by and my feelings for you grew. It was weird how I can say “I love you” but not even date you yet. I was beyond grateful you understood that I was not ready to get into a relationship yet since I just ended one. But my heart was only for you. We would stay up all night talking on the phone. We would text all day. I felt more in a relationship with you than my previous ones.

You were my Christmas sweetheart, my new year love and my valentine. I would be your wake up call everyday. You would be the last person I spoke to every night. We planned for a life, marriage, kids, our future. But that eventually crashed down. As we saw each other less, the more I ended up falling for someone else, but I didn’t know it. And when I knew I had to confront you about it, I was a coward. I called you over the phone and just blurt it out and hung up. And even when you were drunk from what I did, I still wouldn’t talk to you. I hurt you. I hurt you and I felt guilty. But never was there a day that I didn’t think about it or you. You occasionally popped into my mind. I knew karmic justice would be on my way for how I hurt you.

Months later you found someone else. And for six year, we were dating other people. Not exactly the future we planned together. Once she hurt you, I reached out. And that friendship that once we had was sorta there but not really. We were more honest about how we felt sexually. But I had a wall up. I know karma would bite me in the ass for what I did to you. But those feelings I had for you were resurfacing. I loved talking to you, on the phone and on Skype. I was scared to see you in person until I knew how you really felt. But I knew that you were hurt from your ex that I didn’t want to pursue anything. You even said it yourself you were not ready for a new relationship. It’s funny how we are in the same place we were six years ago but vice versa this time.

And like six years ago, one of us is hurt and the other one happy and about to go into a new relationship. But this time it is you. You found someone that you are casually dating. But unlike six years ago, you didn’t tell me, I found out. But I can’t be angry because karma knocked on my door. I’m the one hurt, but I deserve it. And you deserve happiness. For six years, there were times I wondered if I made a mistake and you were the one I was suppose to spend my life with. But it didn’t happen six years ago, and today it is not happening. Maybe it is the universe telling me to let go. And even though you hurt me in the present, thank you. Thank you for bringing the closure I needed in my life. Thank you for making me be ready for the next chapter in my life.

Strike 1: I hurt you.
Strike 2: You hurt me.
Strike 3: …..

An Open Letter to the One Who Both I Hurt and the One Who Hurt Me Back…thank you for giving me the love you never knew you gave me. I will forever love you, even if you do not know it. Maybe there is a future for us, maybe there is not. But no matter where life goes, thank you for our love.

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