An open letter to my abusive ex boyfriend

Subject: An open letter to my abusive ex boyfriend
Date: 19 Nov 2017

I saw a guy who reminded me of you today. And I have to admit... I didn't like it one bit. I didn't like the way it made me feel like I was 2 feet tall. I didn't like that familiar feeling of fear rising up in my gut. I didn't like the way it put me on edge for the rest of my day. Tensing with each move he made. Flinching every time he raised his voice.

But the worst feeling? The worst feeling was watching that look on his wife's face. Those emotions I used to know all to well. Watching her swallow her own pride just so he wouldn't yell anymore. Watching the way she crumbled when he threw his phone and break it on the floor. Seeing someone else feel that helpless like I once did. That unspoken bond of knowing how eachother feels. That unspoken fear.

I didn't realize how damaged I was until I saw someone else in that position. I never realized the permanent scars your behavior left on me. And I want you to know how traumatic it is to know that I still have that reaction. That thanks to you all it takes is a man simply raising his voice for my facade to crumble like that. And I want you to know how much I despise you for it. You don't get to have that control over me anymore. You don't get to haunt me for the rest of my life. It ends today.

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