I do not know you, where you’re from, or what your story is. I do not know what or who your heart is grieving. However, I do know how you feel and I am here to tell you that things do get better, no matter how many times the enemy tells you that they won’t. I know what you’re thinking..”you don’t know what I’ve gone through, what I’ve lost.” And you’re right, I most certainly do not know. But I do know what it is like to lose something that you can’t get back no matter how hard you try or how much money is in your pocket. I have experienced a lot of loss over the past few years and my heart has had to grieve many things in many different ways, which is why I am writing this letter to you. To tell you things that I wish someone would have said to me during these painful times.
First things first: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I understand what it is like to not make the team you put so much effort into making, or the feeling you get when your friend gets the position that you so desperately wanted. I have struggled with confidence and feeling as if I was not enough. I have lost friendships that mean the world to me, some by my own mistakes and others that grew apart throughout the years. I know what it’s like when your heart breaks because the person you love decided not to love you back. I have sat in waiting rooms and I have sat through funerals. I know the gut wrenching feeling you get having to watch a parent lose their ability to walk and to talk, all while knowing there is absolutely nothing you can do. I know what it is like to feel pain, to feel as though nothing could piece your heart back together. That no time could fix what has happened to you or replace what has been taken from you. But I am here to tell you that YOU ARE WRONG. You are wrong to think that you are alone, and you are wrong to believe that things couldn’t possibly get better. Do they hurt? Absolutely. Does the pain ever fully go away? Probably not. However, I have learned that in each circumstance we are given the opportunity to let our pain overcome us, or fight like hell to overcome it. Wake up every day, look yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you can beat it, that life goes on, and that your pain is not meaningless. I think that John Piper says it best.
“Not only is all your affliction momentary, not only is all your affliction light in comparison to eternity and the glory there. But all of it is totally meaningful. Every millisecond of your pain, from the fallen nature or fallen man, every millisecond of your misery in the path of obedience is producing a peculiar glory you will get because of that”
I have found that It is in our greatest moments of weakness when the enemy gets in our heads the most. You know the thoughts you get that make it seem like your world is crashing and that you will never get through this? That is the enemy and that is the voice we have to silence. Seems easy right? No. a million times no. It is one of the hardest things which is why sometimes it is easier to give into his temptations and believe the lies that he so desperately wants us to believe. This is why we must turn to the one thing that is stronger than any lie that the enemy throws at us, and that is Jesus Christ.
I know you may be reading this and rolling your eyes, and that’s okay. Because at times I did the same. I was angry at God for allowing these situations in the first place and the last thing I wanted to do was trust in the one that I believed put me there in the first place. However, each time I quickly realized that I was wrong. So incredibly wrong. It is in these moments when He is rooting for us the most. And just as I, and many others, understand your pain. You are also not alone on an even bigger scale. Jesus is no stranger to pain and to grief. He was slandered, belittled, beaten, criticized, and crucified. He understands pain and He knows what suffering looks like first hand. Jesus has taken on another name, Emmanuel, or “God with us”. This reminds us that as you trust in Him, you literally become the place where God dwells.
I don’t know about you, but this reminder instantly brings me peace. Knowing that at our darkest moments, God is right there with us. He understands your suffering and He will heal your heart as you learn to trust in Him. The bad weeks will soon fade into bad days, then to bad hours, and then to bad moments. That is the funny thing about grief, it never fully goes away. And it is okay to break down when those moments find you in the most random of times. But I promise you that it does indeed get better. Your heart will learn to laugh and love again. New opportunities will arise, and new relationships will evolve. You will begin to find hope in the smallest of things and the memories will keep you going. So do not give up. Choose to overcome it. Choose to move forward and become stronger. Constantly remind yourself that you are not alone and that your pain is not meaningless.
