Dear Aspiring Broadway Performers,
Look, we have to have a talk. I feel like there is a disconnect here, perhaps it can be chalked up to a generational gap…but then again, no, I don’t think it can because there are a lot of young working actors who bust their butts every day to get where they are and stay there.
Every day I find myself in contact with people (friends and strangers alike) who call themselves “actors.” I’m already skeptical of these people, for better or worst, because I work in an industry over saturated with people who want to be actors, want to be famous, whatever. Some people truly want to get paid to do what they love, to perform their craft in front of an audience, to entertain. Others really just want notoriety. Whatever it is you want, you’re going to have to work for it, but I find myself often in the company of people who feel like it should just be handed to them on a platter. No, they don’t even just feel like it should be handed to them on a platter, WORSE they EXPECT it to be handed to them on a platter.
Well, kids, I’ve got a news flash for you and I don’t think you’re going to like it.
NOTHING WILL BE HANDED TO YOU ON A PLATTER.
In fact, forget the platter, nothing will be handed to you at all. If you want to work in this industry (or really any industry, but we’re talking about theatre right now) you’re going to have to work your butt off. I’m going to refrain from using profanity right now, but I often find myself so frustrated with “aspiring actors” that I want to say, “WHAT THE &%#! ARE YOU DOING?” They sit around and sing with their friends. They look at auditions online (sometimes, some don’t even bother opening playbill jobs which is just baffling to me). Some of them go to school, fine. Some of them take dance classes…sometimes. And a few, a small few even manage to get their behinds to auditions.
But you know what the problem is? None of that is enough. It’s not enough to just show up to an audition, you have to prepare. Do you remember being in high school? Did you just show up for the test and get 110%? No, probably not. Booking a Broadway show is the equivalent of getting all the answers right on your test AND answering the bonus question to get more points. You’re the one to set the curve. You’re the one everyone is going to be pissed at because they’re only getting 50, 60, or 70% of the questions right. But you know what? You have to own it! If you want this, you have to step up and take the batt, you have to hit the ball out of the park 100 times.
I know what you’re going to say: “But, BroadwaySpotted! So-And-So went to ONE audition and booked it.” Newsflash. That person is the 1% of 1% of 1%. 1% of people are actors. 1% of those actors get jobs. 1% of those getting jobs book a job right out the gate. That’s practically no one. You only heard that story because it’s so outrageous that people feel like they have to tell it.
Next point of order is excuses. There is NEVER. EVER. EVER. a reason for excuses. If you want to work in this industry you have to stop even having reasons for excuses. Guess who wants to hear your excuses? Your mom. And probably not even her if we’re being real about it, but she’s the only one willing to sit and listen. If I’m working on a show and someone runs in late and has a myriad of reasons why they couldn’t do their job properly I tune them out and go about my business. You know what would be better? A call. An email. A text. Anything to let the people you work with and for know what’s going on AND taking responsibility. Never say you could help it, it’s just like blahblahblah to those you’re talking to. I’d respect someone who shows up late so much more if they said, “You know what…I messed up and I’m going to do my best to make sure it never happens again.” That is what it takes.
Now back to auditions. If you’re not auditioning constantly you obviously don’t want to work and that’s just the fact. This doesn’t apply to working actors, obviously. But, I hate to break it to you…even people in shows audition all the time. I’m not going to use names here, because I’m so frustrated that this is all off the top of my head and I don’t have time to ask their permission, but I’ll tell you a story. I was working on a Broadway show a few months ago and I walked into a studio and saw one of our actors in line to audition. At first I was taken aback. I thought…what? He’s got a good job! But then I thought, well, he’s planning ahead because you just never know. I respect that actor and you should know that he books lots of shows. Five in the last four years to be exact, but you know what? He probably goes to 10 times that many auditions.
It’s still not enough to just show up for auditions. No. You have to prepare. You have to take voices lessons. You know who takes voice lessons? Amazing vocalists. In her hay-day Mariah Carey was still taking lessons. Morgan James still takes lessons. AUDRA MCDONALD still goes to coachings. You know why? Because it’s necessary to maintain. It’s like being an athlete. You wouldn’t wake up tomorrow and run a marathon without training. Performing and singing is not different. Do the time or you won’t get the job. Or if you’re lucky (yes, that would be LUCK) to get a job, you would keep it. Yes, people on Broadway are fired for lack of performance ability. It does happen. Dance is the same. And acting lessons too. Prepare prepare prepare.
While we’re on the subject of preparation: SEE SHOWS. This is not a request, it is a demand. If you don’t see shows, you don’t know what parts are out there that fit you. You also don’t know who your competition is. You also don’t know what styles are popular. Basically, if you don’t see shows, you’re going in blind. Going to shows is like doing homework for actors.
If you want to sit around and pretend like you want to be a paid performer, that’s fine. That’s even your business. It’s going to continue to piss me off, but it’s your business. But if you really want to do this as a living, it’s going to take work. Broadway is a job and it should be treated like such. Furthermore, it’s not an easy job. A fun job? Yes, absolutely! People who work on Broadway generally have a blast, but they have a blast while working their tails to the bone. I’ve got to tell you, for those people who work hard every day, it’s extremely rude and frustrating to see kids pretending to want to do that same job, but putting in absolutely no effort.
Alright. I’m done for now. I have a lot more to say, but who knows if anyone will even read this whole thing as it is. If you read the whole thing, kudos to you. You get a cookie. If you didn’t read the whole thing…you’re probably one of the lazy ones who is playing make believe.
Don’t get me wrong, I love make believe. But I really enjoy working on Broadway a lot better.
I hope you take this to heart.
Love and Broadway,
Spotted ;)
P.s. as always questions are accepted below.
