To the one who showed me his world

Subject: To the one who showed me his world
From: A heart-broken smile
Date: 17 Aug 2017

Hi you,

I doubt you would ever find this letter. But if you do, I hope you get that feeling that you know this is especially for you.

Thank you for breaking me. Thank you for showing me what love isn't meant to feel like. You showed me that love shouldn't feel like you are alone constantly. Do you understand how horrible you made me feel near the end? I thought I had done something to you so I kept trying to keep you happy. And it worked. It's just that that happiness was only given to one person, and I was left with the dust and crumbs.

You were the one that said "I love you" first. I remember how you said it as well. We planned a future together soon after those words were spoken. Where we would move, what type of furniture would be in the living room, how many children we would have. You also said that you would never leave me, that I was yours and that you would also protect me. Love is not lying to your partner, did you know that?

Thank you for using me. I kept on giving and giving, making sure you were safe and happy, I gave up my time just for you. What did I get in return? Sweet-empty words. You never made time for me and I hated that. When I was there to support you, you were never there for me when I needed you the most. I craved to be near you, and all you did was push me farther and farther away. How was I suppose to talk to you about anything if I felt like you were closing yourself off to me? I was so open to you, and you were filled with secrets and lies.

You're happy now that we've broken up. You found someone immediately after me. So which makes me question, when were you done with me? When you saw I slowly started giving up on pleasing you? Did you meet your new lover during our relationship? Was I just some obstacle in your way of finding more happiness? You can't blame me to think that you started cheating on me while we were still together.

By the way, thanks for breaking up with me right near our anniversary. I hope you enjoyed my anniversary present I made for you. I thought it could have saved us, but I was so stupid to even give it to you.

But I'm that different type of ex. Many would want to wish their ex would have a horrible time after the break up. Not me.

Because this is how you'll know how much I love you. I'm glad you're happy. If this person makes you smile everyday and gives you the world, I'm glad they are able to do it. Something I probably could never have given you. If us ceasing to talk is the best for you, then I will follow through. It hurts, knowing that the friendship we had once is now ruined and difficult to build up again. But maybe this is for the best. All that matters is that you're happy, even if I am not part of that anymore.

So I move on everyday slowly but surely. I fake a smile sometimes just to let you know. Let me give you an update on myself, I'm fine. I'm happy again, but not because of some person. It's because I get to change myself now for the better. I get to go on adventures that I always wanted to do and now I'm finding out more about myself than ever before. For example, I know that I am not going to settle for less than I deserve. I will wait patiently for the one God is sending me. I will wait for the "He's the one" voice. I am finally back to how I was before. And this wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for you breaking up with me.

If we were to ever met again, let it be in the future. Both of us successful in whatever path we decided to follow. By then, I don't want to see you as "Oh, it's my ex." I want to see you as the one I had the fondest memories with. And I hope that you would be thinking the same thing.

So consider this my good-bye. I love you, I genuinely love you. You showed me a different type of happiness and I'm glad the memories I had with you would be just between the both of us. I wish you only the best for the future.


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