There were times when I hated those extra four pounds on my hips and that square of visible cellulite at the inside of my thighs (yes, just behind the knee joints); I disliked my (almost) flabby arms and weren’t that fond of my thick hair, either. Now, I see I’ve been crazy to let the best shape of my life slip away through my fingers without me paying any solid attention and graceful appreciation to it. Still, the experience of being pregnant and rocking my baby girl in my arms can’t really compare to any body-lament, so I’ll spare you the drama.
Looking myself in the mirror these days, the reflection is way different than it used to be. Interestingly enough, this reflection of a person I feel like I barely know keeps staring back at me in amazement. The experience is magnificent, terrifying and absolutely startling.
I put the baby to sleep and wait for the hubby to go to work… then, I do my little rituals. One of them (and I am almost ashamed to admit it) is spending at least thirty minutes naked (sometimes even an hour) in front of the mirror, observing every new curve, line and stretch mark on my post-baby body. I study my face diligently along with the body as well, trying to figure out what’s changed and how am I different now. Personally, it feels like I’ve lost my glow even though Mike’s been telling me I look more gorgeous than ever.
So, here it is:
Dear post-baby body,
I have no idea who you are and what will become of you, but I know I love you. I love you for having been strong enough to help me carry my little bundle of happiness in my belly and have stayed strong through delivery. I am amazed at your power to stretch and shrink and leave little reminders on the skin to never let me forget that 9-month preparation period for my role of a parent. With your sagging skin and flabby belly, you seem sad to me. Hey, stop it! I know you’ll tighten up, you’re quirky like that. I’ll help you out – we’ll work on it together.
I love you for showing me that nature is bigger than intent; if it wasn’t for my pregnancy I’d probably never realize how powerful the laws of nature are – one minute I was 65 kg of hotness and the next – I was carrying another life in me. I have to admit, though – there’s absolutely nothing I like about the cellulite that’s everywhere and I hope you’ll take care of that (please do!). But, I do love all the ways you’re staying in sync with my mind and keeping up with my duties as a parent. I admire you for being so strong even after I’ve had only two hours of sleep, and I am grateful that you’ve kept that charming grace about my posture intact. I never thought comfy pants for pregnancy could look THIS good on me, so I honestly thank you for that, too.
I adore the fact that you’re potent enough to help my hair grow thick again! And…well, I absolutely worship you for making my breasts big (finally)! John is sending his thanks on this one, too.
I cannot really understand how you’ve managed to keep me sheltered from the post-partum pain when I was convinced I’ll be sore and unhappy for a while. I hurt just a little, and it’s fine. Hey, that post baby glow – it’s wonderful. Everyone’s noticing it. Body, thank you for never divorcing my mind and for being as tough as you’ve been. And, just in case I haven’t said it enough – I love you, even though you’re still new to me.