Dear Mr. Trump,
Securing OUR southern border is tantamount to domestic security and paramount to decent wages for AMERICAN workers. Your plan to build a wall between the United States and Mexico is a good idea, but such a wall would ultimately be rendered ineffective in accomplishing its’ primary objective of curtailing illegal immigration. As we all know, elaborate, sophisticated tunnel systems have been constructed and are currently being utilized and expanded by Mexican drug cartels. A wall will not thwart such efforts. To the contrary, a giant wall would drive more human trafficking underground while increasing profits for the cartels. Instead of paying individual “coyotes,” more Mexicans would turn to the cartels to reach the Land of Opportunity. An unintended consequence of the wall you propose is the paving of the way for a literal “underground railroad” INTO these United States. There is a better way, and frankly, you are the only man with balls big enough to implement what I propose. Let’s build THE GREAT CANAL.
As with all great undertakings throughout history, the initial steps will be difficult, but then again, if there is anyone in the world who can acquire the necessary land from Mexico, Mr. Trump, it’s you. The impoverished villagers in the troublesome, Mexican border towns will gladly sell you their land in order to make better lives for themselves. Appropriating enough of Mexico to create THE GREAT CANAL is a win-win for everyone involved. Due to the high volume of criminal activity in those areas, the land is not worth much at all, so you can buy all of it for what you would consider a very small sum of money.
Imagine all of the jobs that will be created when you begin building the 8th wonder of the world! No man-made structure on earth even comes close to the magnitude of that which I am proposing. The GREATNESS of AMERICA would be undeniably restored in perpetuity. The best part is that THE GREAT CANAL will pay for itself within a decade and continue to make money for centuries to come! The Panama Canal is a pathetic, little, creek-varmint construction by comparison. I’m sure your team will broker a deal to shut it down within a year of THE GREAT CANAL’s opening. You have the opportunity to create a new trade hub for the entire world, and at the same time, solve all of AMERICA’s southern border problems!
As a bonus, THE GREAT CANAL will solve a serious national security vulnerability issue. The U.S. Navy’s nuclear submarines have no way to quickly traverse from one shore to the other. Both China and Russia are constantly playing little games in the Atlantic and Pacific, and who is to say an entire costal fleet couldn’t be knocked out with a single, coordinated attack? The balance of war powers needs to be maintained in the air, on land, AND by sea. Having highly advanced submariner capabilities ready to deploy anywhere in the world from multiple southern ports would strengthen our strategic capabilities to a level never seen before in human history.
From sea to shining sea, THE GREAT CANAL will be a shining beacon of AMERICAN power, ingenuity, brilliance and wealth. I challenge ANYONE to dream up a bigger, better, more American way to truly MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!
Sincerely,
Archibald V. Ogdenstool
646-736-1779
[email protected]
