Dear Cancer

Subject: Dear Cancer
From: the girl you took everything from
Date: 4 Jan 2016

I hate you. You've been in my life since I was a year old. You showed up in my sister's brain when she was only 2 months old. How is that fair?
What could a 2 month of have done? How could she have deserved that? You ate away part of her skull and surgery was not an option because of where you were.
We were only able to have chemo and radiation and hope that worked. You took her life 2 weeks before my third birthday. I didn't understand she was gone then and all I wanted was to see my sister.
As I grew, I started to understand what death was. My memory of my sister also began to fade.
I grew up feeling so guilty because I didn't remember my sister. When I thought you would never be in my life again, you showed up.
This time you took my mom hostage. When I was told you were here, my first thought was that I was going to lose my best friend, my mom. I knew my mom was a strong fighter but you already took my sister. I had no hope. My mom started to get really sick and I hated it. I couldn't stand to see her like that. She was always in the hospital. The last two weeks of her life, she was sent home to make her more comfortable. We were prepared for her death.
Those last weeks were absolute hell. My sister and I had to stay the night with my aunt because mom would scream in the middle of the night and wake us up. She was on so many medications it changed her. She became a very mean person. My mom had died before her actual death. She was so different I knew that the woman in my living room wasn't really my mom.
The day before her death was Halloween. I went to school like any other day. I was in my second hour when I had the feeling of needing to be home. I just had a bad feeling and I needed to be with my mom. I went home and stayed by her side all day. Everyone was telling me I needed to say goodbye to mom. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I don't like goodbyes. It makes me feeling like I'll never see that person again. I couldn't handle that. So I told her I loved her and it was okay to let go. I never said goodbye and I don't regret it at all. It's been a little over 2 years since she passed and everyday is a struggle without her. I find myself crying from time to time. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. Yesterday would have been her 34th birthday. It's not fair that she didn't get to live her life. She was still very young.
I just want my mom and sister back. You took them from me. Now, I will continue the fight against you. Next week I will be shaving my head for St. Baldrick's to raise money for Childhood Cancer Research. We will end you!

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