From the beginning, you intrigued me. You were older, mysterious and confident. You were all the things I wanted to be. The day we started talking was the first time I've ever felt sexy.
You made me feel wanted. You made me feel interesting. You made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. Your blue-green eyes could see right through to my core. Instead of feeling exposed, I felt alive.
The crush I had on you consumed me. You were my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. Now, I'm not sure you ever felt the same way.
3 months later it was over. We went from constantly talking to radio silence. You pretended not to even blink an eye. To this day, I look back on our time together and it takes my breath away. We told each other our deepest secrets, dreams and desires. I remember everything you told me.
You're still in my life. Because of our unique situation, I know you'll always be in my life. Seeing you for the two years after our summer fling was hell. You were in love with Her and I was in love with you, or maybe the old you.
In June, I caught a glimpse of the guy I used to dream about. That's how I knew your relationship with Her was ending. We started talking again. It was infrequent, but then it started to become daily. You started speaking to me the way you did. I didn't fall for you again because I swore to myself I'd never feel as empty and broken as I did three years ago.
I'll never forget the night this August we had a deep conversation about ourselves and you told me you'd always have feelings for me. A connection. A thought. A regret. As soon as I read those messages from you I started bawling. I started thinking back to how desperately I wanted to hear those words three years ago. I cried for the little girl who was in love with you, that you left broken.
I cried for all the things that would never be. I cried for all the pain you've caused me. Mostly, I cried because I finally understand that you will always be the boy I thought was The One. You will never be My One, because even if you are in love with me, you will never take my hand and run away with me.
Even if everything you said was true, that you regret hurting me, neglecting me, and not telling me you felt the same way, I can't believe you. I can't because I know if I did, you would consume me again. You are my addiction. To me, you are the devil in disguise. You are the poison apple. My love for you was bulletproof, but you're the one who shot me.