You Bastard!

Today, today was the last day you’d ever call me names or put your hands on me. You destroyed a lot more today than just sentimental things around my house. You broke me in a way I never thought I could be broken. As is sat in my bathroom floor with the door locked crying my eyes out because once again you had wiggled your way back into my life just to break me down even more than before. Every time you came back the situations just got worse. Mentally I couldn’t take much more but tried being strong because I didn’t want to be another person that walked out on you. I wanted you to feel loved and cared about. Because I loved you more than you’d ever know. I made everything my fault in my head even if I never said that out loud. I lost myself along the way. And that. It scared me. I wanted...
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Mr. Dean Guida, I wanted to reach out to you and tell you that even though I understand business decissions, what you did was highly unprofessional and careless. I'm not talking about me alone, but about the 20 guys you fired in Cranbury, and the 10 you fired in Montevideo. I hope you won't do the same in the rest of the offices... Wouldn't it have been humane, or at least professional, to explain the situation in advance? To let people prepare? Do you know how many children are left with unemployed parents due to your company's lack of empathy towards its employees? What the hell happened with that little booklet you drilled into us each week? What happened with all the company culture work we did for years? I know what happened, they were all corporate propaganda just...
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Dear Sir, You may not remember me, but I remember you. It was many years ago, I’m sure you were not then the man you are now, but you hurt me, you violated me, in a way I hope your daughters never have to experience. But reliving it or reminding you of that moment is not the purpose of this letter. We were both different people back then. You were a jerk. Perhaps you were just a product of your raising, maybe your father treated your mother the way you treated me, and you hadn’t yet learned that it was wrong. I don’t know, but I don’t want to carry hate in my heart, even though you deserve it. I was a different person too, I was meek, and frightened. I don’t know if you saw me as someone you could easily take advantage of, I just don’t know, but I’m not going to waste my energy...
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Your name will not come out of my mouth, so this letter is not addressed to anyone. Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for putting me through the ultimate test. I left you as a broken, beaten down, and hopeless woman. These past few months have been a rollercoaster of emotions. I’ve been fucking mad, devastatingly sad, lonely, filled with shame and filled with guilt. Thank you for putting me through this test. I have learned how to fight for myself. I have learned that I am a strong woman. I have learned that I deserve love, and more importantly, I deserve to love myself. I’m letting go of the anger that I have harbored toward you. It is eating me alive and it has stayed last its welcome. I feel sadness. Sadness for myself, but sadness for you as well. What happened to you...
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Dear... I don't even know what to call you... Most people say your first child is the most special one. Because you get all THE FIRSTS. Unfortunately for you... That wasn't the case with us because 2 years after I was born and a loooonnnnggg custody battle. You decided to leave. No goodbye. No warning. You just dropped me off like any other visit but unlike the other times... You never came back. I was two years old when you decided I wasn't worth the hassle - or worth your time. That is years of neglect and wondering where I went wrong? Why I wasn't enough for you to stay and love me ? What made you walk away from me? At this point of my life.. I know I will never get those answers from you, not because you do not have one.. But because there is no good reason for abandoning...
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It’s been nearly a year since we last spoke, and I’m guessing I don’t cross your mind much anymore. But I am writing this to tell you how awful it is when I wake up in the morning and remember what you did. Not every morning, but the mornings when I awake in a fog and remember how it felt when I woke up with you on top of me. With your hands in places you assumed I wanted. Note that I said assumed, as there was never any consent, as you didn’t seem to need that to have your vile way with me. And yet here you are, still living a normal life, still pretending to be a decent human being. I always wanted to be an actress, but I am subpar compared to the painted mask you wear to the world, one of innocence and charm, that you continue to wear even now. You acted like the nice guy, and I...
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"Mother is the name for god, on the lips and hearts of all children..." That is why she does all she can to keep you happy and you use that to your advantage and always will. I must congratulate your efforts in driving a wedge between us that is probably irreparable now. Granted us being 6000 miles apart with a 7 hour time difference must have made it a bit easier for you to ply your trade but your countless lies during this period helped you achieve it. Most mothers, when their daughter seems to be struggling with her partner being so far away, would be supportive and try to help her through with kind words and good advice. Telling her that I had no intention of following through on any of the plans that we made, when you and I have never even discussed such things, and that it...
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"You know I didn't take advantage of you right?" Those were the words that came out of your mouth when I woke up. Do you think you did something wrong? On second thought, don't answer that question. We both know the answer. So let me ask you, Why did you take it that far? When you saw me in my bed, almost unconscious, what exactly was your thought process? You could always say you were trying to help me, that you just wanted to hold my hair back while I puked, but that's not all you did is it? Did I say I wanted it? I honestly have no memory of saying that. You saw an opportunity, when you saw me in bed, and you took advantage of it. Do you feel like a man now? Do you feel accomplished? You shouldn't. There are so many things I have wanted to say to you but I've been scared...
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I don't know, maybe someone can help me understand the whole concept of manners? I was raised in a very strict but respectable household where we were taught "please", "thank you", how to hold the doors for others, etc. Why is it that it seems parents don't teach them anymore? I cannot tell you how many times the past week I had a brat talk back to me (they were a cashier and rang my stuff up wrong), or even let the door slam in my face. My biggest pet peeve is when people act like they have no prior training in what manners actually are. I hate that social media and electronics have taken over the youth, I honestly think that is one of the reasons everything is so effed up. There is such a lack of respect for adults, authority, you name it. They want to be "grown" but can't act...
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From middle school to current day, my life has taken many paths. I am not the same person I was back then - I am more independent, not seeking approval and living my life to the fullest. I don't think I have had a genuine friend till I graduated - I mean sure, I had best friends in school but as soon as you don't see them every day, things change. That is fine. I don't hold grudges or wish things were the same. I am good. Some times you drift away from people who don't have the same goals/views as you. Perfectly okay. What is not okay, is being a controlling and overbearing friend. Unfortunately, I was exposed to many of those and now that they are no longer in my life - I am thriving. I don't wish evil upon them, just that they simply stay away from me. Don't let people who 1)...
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