What is a stay at home mom? It's not as self explanatory as it may seem. A stay at home mom has lots of responsibilities and taking care of a baby is only one of them.
A stay at home mom works 24 hours a day 7 days a week. She may get an hour or two break if she has a significant other or someone who is willing to watch the baby while she goes shopping or goes and gets a coffee with a friend but she's lucky if she even gets that.
Now I know what you're thinking, she gets a break at nap time! No. In my case, my newborn will not allow me to put him down without screaming. If eventually he does take two hour naps in the future I'll have to clean. Clean the living room or vacuum or do the dishes. The list goes on! So no. We don't get breaks.
Some of us sahm are blessed with colicky babies. What is colic you ask? To someone without a medical degree it is persistent crying and screaming for absolutely no reason! Even after you've tried feeding him three times and changed his diaper four. You've cuddled him because maybe he just wants to feel love. You put him in the jumper because maybe he wants to play or stand. You try lullabies and rocking him. You bounce him and walk around the house. He's been crying for almost an hour and you realize, after trying the 30 things that have worked even once before, that he's just fighting his sleep with all of his being so you sit down rock him and pray he finally gives in.
When he does you don't dare move because you know if you get up he will start crying again and you don't know if mentally you could handle that. So you stay there. No matter how hungry you are or how thirsty you might be. No matter how full your bladder is or how many dishes are in the sink. You stay there. But the quiet only lasts thirty minutes until that precious baby starts crying again because he's hungry.
This goes on day in and day out. It is a schedule. Certainly not a schedule I would like or a schedule that some people imagine for a newborn but it's a schedule. A nonstop persistent schedule.
So I'm sorry to those who don't understand that I don't have time to text you. I'm sorry that I missed your call when the baby was crying and didn't call you back when he was asleep.
I'm sorry that I missed my doctors appointment and I didn't call.
I'm sorry I can't come out tonight.
It would interrupt the schedule.
And here's a big screw you to the people who say "you don't have a real job" because this is the most important job that I could possibly do right now and screw you for suggesting that my life isn't hard because I know it's probably harder than working an eight hour a day job.
So here's an open letter from the stay at home mom of a colicky baby to the people who just don't quite understand.