Dear Unnamed Person,
I am writing this letter to you because I may never get the opportunity to say the things that I need to say to you. On December 31, 2014, life as I knew it, changed forever. When my son died, a part of me died with him. For 2 ½ years I have struggled to create some sort of semblance of life for myself. I have learned to live without my child, while living with an ache in my heart that will never heal.
Up until a few weeks ago, I was adjusting and learning to move forward with my life. I was surviving without my child, even if it was just to honor him, then new evidence and witnesses came forward to reveal that everything relating to my child’s death was a complete lie. Our family had been made to believe that my child was driving your truck because you were too drunk to drive, and he veered off the road when he dropped his cell phone. When he attempted to get back on the road he over-corrected and the truck flipped, and he was ejected.
This is not at all how the wreck occurred, is it Unnamed Person? The truth of the matter is you were driving December 30, 2014. You were drunk, and you killed my son, and you even admitted to doing so to more than one person over the last two and a half years, it would appear that you can’t live with what you have done, because so many people know what you did, and yet they protect you by obstructing justice, and depriving a grieving family of closure and peace. My son DID NOT deserve to be treated like this by his so claimed “brother” and people that claimed to love him!!!
I’ve always known you killed my son. I knew when he was in the hospital and his prognosis for surviving was grim, and I decided to baptize my son. I brought you with me into his room, because he would have wanted you there, and as soon as you laid eyes on him, you buckled and cried uncontrollably and couldn’t go in his room, and you never went in his room again. That was not a sign of pain, but a sign of guilt. I will never get over the fact that before he had been officially declared brain dead you had someone pack his stuff up and remove his belongings from your house. You let everyone go through my son’s belongings like vultures and by the time we received his belongings, they were half gone.
Another telling sign of your guilt was your demeanor after we buried my son. I received a few text messages from you after his death, but they suddenly stopped. You never mention my son’s name much less ever attended any functions to keep his memory alive or to honor his organ donation. You have never been there for his children. If my son was like a brother to you, then why were you not there for his family to comfort them in their time of need? You know deep in your heart if the situation was reversed, he would have been there for your family and children.
I want you to know that I don’t hate you. I hate the way you handled the aftermath of the accident. You have previously stated that you feel like a murderer. You are not a murderer. Everyone knows that you did not intentionally take my son’s life. It was an accident. I do however have a problem with the fact that you moved my son’s body. You never move a victim of a head or back injury especially resulting from a vehicle accident. You propped my son up against something while you cleaned up the accident scene, removing the beer cans and ice chest from the scene, and you had help doing so, and we are well aware of that fact. Do you realize that when you propped my son up that you restricted his airway? How long did you leave him like this? Could my son have been saved had you not moved him and restricted his airway? Your first call wasn’t even to 911 to report the accident and try to save my son. While my son was gurgling on his own blood you were picking up beer cans, and to make the situation worse for our family you blamed the entire wreck on my son, and stated he was driving your vehicle. Maybe you are not aware of the fact that there is a toxicology report conducted by the State Troopers and my son’s blood alcohol level came back with .00 and yours came back .10, exceeding the legal limit (and yes, they took your blood at the hospital). My son had just returned home from dropping his children off to their mother 2 ½ hours away there is no possible way he could have been intoxicated. However, there are reports of you drinking all day long that day. Did my son know you were drunk when he made the decision to get in the vehicle with you? There is no possible way my son was driving that night. The six skull fractures he sustained are consistent with the crushed in cab of the passenger side of the vehicle, and the bruises on your chest were consistent with being slammed against the steering wheel, that ultimately saved your life.
The truly most heartbreaking detail of this entire ordeal is you admitted to covering up the accident scene. You stated that you would never tell a soul how it was done and you would take it to your grave because you had to be there for your kids. You were all they had to take care of them. My question to you is, what about my son’s children? Why is it ok that you took their Daddy away from them, but you can still see your kids? Why are my grandchildren any less important than your children? Do you know that my Granddaughter has anxiety issues because of her father’s death? She wants to go to heaven and see her Daddy, and she can’t understand why she can’t go and visit him. She was only 23 months old when he was taken from her, but she still remembers him and she misses him terribly. Are you aware that my Grandson thinks his Daddy lives on the moon? When he wants to say hi to him he looks up at the moon and says, “Hey Dada,” Instead of being able to kiss and hug their Daddy, they have to send balloons up to the sky on special occasions. You robbed my grandchildren of their father. They were innocent and didn’t deserve this cross to bear. You sentenced our entire family to a life sentence of living hell, and yet you get to walk around as if nothing ever happened. You don’t have to be accountable for your actions.
Why? How could you do this to the person you called a brother? How could you blame him for this, when it is so clearly obvious to everyone what really happened? Unnamed Person, you stated that you covered up the accident because you knew you would be facing manslaughter charges and there wasn’t anything anyone could do to change it. You might be right about that, but we could have fought for you. We could have fought for leniency. We would’ve had a say so in your punishment. This entire incident would have probably been reduced down to a misdemeanor and you would have probably just received probation. Our family would have helped you, had you just told us the truth. Why? Why didn’t you just come forward and tell us the truth and every bit of this could have been avoided? You would have given us closure and peace. Do you realize that handling this situation the way you did, you made it harder on all parties involved? Do you realize that you created even more problems for yourself legally? Why can’t you be an honest and noble man, and come forward and tell the truth? The truth shall truly set you free, but apparently you were never given lessons in morality. You even went as far as to threaten the life of my other son. I lost one son due to your negligence, now you want to purposely take away my only living son? It’s not going to happen!!!
I have asked myself a million times what would my son want me to do to handle this situation? A part of me feels that he would want us to leave things exactly as they are now because he loved you dearly. He would not want you to suffer anymore than you already do on a daily basis. The last thought I think about when I go to bed at night is my son. Do you see my son gurgling on his own blood every night when you close your eyes to sleep? My son was a big believer in Karma, and let’s be honest your life has gone to hell since my son died. Karma will be a bigger bitch, than I ever could be.
However, you rendered my grandchildren fatherless, and for that my son would want me to seek justice. My son’s children were his reason for living, and they were by far the most important relationships in his life. Those children were his heart and soul, and they will never get to witness what an amazing man their Daddy was. They will never get to feel his touch or hear his sweet voice. You robbed my son of doing the one thing that he wanted more than anything in his life, and that was being a father. You deserve to be accountable for the lives that you destroyed.
I want you to know that I forgive you and I truly do not hate you. I forgive you because it’s the right thing to do, and it’s also what God and Dustin expect me to do. If God wants us to have justice, then we will have it.
While I have this opportunity, I want to thank you. Thank you, for putting me in a situation to where I have been forced to dig deep within myself and find a type of strength that I never knew existed within me. It was not my choice to survive without my child, but I choose to live and honor him each and every day, not even death can destroy that.
It is my hope that one day you find it in your heart to do the right thing. It will bring you peace and it will give a heartbroken family closure. God knows we all deserve it. I will continue to pray for you because I know that God is merciful and just.
A Heartbroken Mother