An open letter from my married self to my single self

Subject: An open letter from my married self to my single self
From: Sophie
Date: 19 Feb 2015

To my single self,

From an early age kids are shown and taught that being in a relationship is important to your happiness, whether you watch Sex and the City or simply admire an older sibling who has all the luck with the opposite sex. As a result, I found that I desperately sought approval from others and especially my partners, hoping that this would make me happy.

Of course it seems obvious when reading this and for me to look back in hindsight but if I was able to change one thing about my past it would be to have enjoyed being single and experiencing things on my own.

It is the majority of young girls' dreams to have a perfect wedding and society is no doubt at fault for instilling this idea from an early age. But you shouldn't spend your life hoping to find your dream guy and for a blissful marriage without any hiccups. The advice I'd give myself (and anyone else who by chance reads this) is as follows:

Don't Rush!
There is always a perceived pressure from friends and society to do things you aren't ready for, whether it is losing your virginity, being in a relationship or even getting married because all your friends are. But for all these pressures I would urge any young person not to rush! It'll happen when the time is right and the last thing you want is to inflict yourself upon a bad relationship because you feel like that's what you are supposed to do. So enjoy being single if that feels right to you and don't let others dictate your life for you.

You're Only Young Once
How many married couples do you know who go out clubbing? The only one I was told about by a friend ended in a divorce as both sides realised they were having more fun apart than they were together. The point is that your youth is an opportunity to be wild and free without having to answer to anyone else. No I am not implying that you shouldn't be in a serious relationship, but if you find yourself single...enjoy it!

It Should Come Easy
When you do meet the man or woman you'll spend the rest of your life with (it might sound cliché) but you will know! So many of my friends have stuck it out in relationships where it is all too apparent that it isn't going to last and they know it they just want to be in a relationship. My advice to them is once again to be single and enjoy it! Of course not every aspect of a relationship is easy and this doesn't mean you should necessarily break up with your partner but if it is very hard work and you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel then perhaps it is best to walk away.

Enjoy Your Friends
All too often friendships are sacrificed for the sake of relationships, but who are you going to go running to when things go belly up? Appreciate and enjoy your friends...there's a reason they are in your life and they shouldn't be made second fiddle to some random guy at the coffee shop who will just as soon not call you again after a date. When you get older those friendships that have lasted will be some of the best moments of your life.

Be Exciting
Being single is a great opportunity to be spontaneous! go traveling by yourself, have adventures and broaden your horizons. Not only will you meet plenty of interesting people but you will also make a lot of new friends. There is nothing like bonding over traveling and shared adventures. And whilst you are busy being single, you might even stumble across that person you want to marry if you are lucky...just like I did.

Sophie

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