Hi, I genuinely hope you are doing well and although we don’t speak to each other you tend to cross my mind a fair amount. I’ll never forget our relationship, you were my first true love and I feel like I have to thank you. I want to thank you for allowing me to fall in love with you, for being my shoulder to cry on when I was being dramatic, for always watching the football with me, for giving me advice knowing that I probably wouldn’t listen, for being my best friend and finally, I want to thank you for leaving me.
I know when we broke up I was full of anger, full of hate. I didn’t understand how we couldn’t just “fix” things, I want you to be around forever. I lay in my bed and I cried for days, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep and this was all because I knew you were no longer by my side. I no longer had that shoulder to cry on, that person who would eat endless amounts of ice cream with me, that person who was my “go to” for the last year and a half, he was suddenly gone.
You were the brave one in our relationship, we both knew it wasn’t right but you were the one to step away first and for that I hated you. After a while I learned that you were a person I didn’t love but it took me to the point of heartbreak to realise this. We don’t speak, in fact we ignore each other if we see each other and that’s extremely sad but that’s life.
You taught me so many things but you also made me realise things I had previously learned. You made me realise that I am an amazing person, I am a strong independent woman who forgot how to love herself. How could I ever have loved you if I didn’t love myself?
I’ll never forget the butterflies I felt when we first kissed or the excitement I would feel when I saw your face but I will also never forget the upset and the hurt you caused me. I am a much better person without you and I have finally realised that. Thank you for the last two years of my life you’ve made it a complete and utter rollercoaster but I will never forget the lessons, good and bad that you have taught me.