An Open Letter to the Canada Immigration authorities

Subject: An Open Letter to the Canada Immigration authorities
From: A shocked future Canadian Resident (Maybe)
Date: 21 Sep 2017

Dear Canada Immigration Authorities,

ARE YOU FOR REAL? or are you just a name and your local embassies work as they wish? Since I'm considering moving to your country I surely hope you are real and you actually are aware how visa processes actually happen.

I waited for 5 years to get my permanent visa.
Along the way I even forgot I had applied for it then suddenly at the end of last year I was informed I meet this year's requirements and the rollercoaster started.
Mind you this is not a complaint about the endless paperwork or letters I wrote to justify every undocumented action I made during my last 30 years, I more or less can understand those.

What I have been trying to understand since I received that "acceptance email", which of course had me cancel my vacation and run back to the UAE to submit my passport, how does it make sense for you to withhold people's passports for 6 weeks in an expat country?
How does it make sense that you don't even answer your emails for emergencies or give people clear instructions how can someone retrieve their passports at any given point during the process.

I will not go into the moaning details of the important events I had to miss, or how useless your staff is (literally useless, very patient though), this letter is about practicing to be a good citizen and give constructive feedback to my future home country (maybe), so here are some suggestions on how you can reduce messing up people's lives:
1- Hire someone with some human empathy to review your visa and immigration processes. What you have now is a shameful process. At least in third world countries there is a human being telling you to your face you are nothing, you guys took this to a whole new level.
2- Hire a couple of customer service agents to pick up calls and answer emails.
Standard really:
"Dear sir you are not just an application number. Someone is actually looking into your case and will get back to you in this life "
3- Issue electronic visas? YES they exist!
4- Customize your laws to match with the countries you operate in, for example in expat countries:
a- Give more then 4 weeks for people to submit their passports so they can actually sort out their business and personal travels
b- Or don't keep the passports with you for 4-6 weeks (every time I type this I get angrier)

Finally, a tip from a (maybe) future immigrant, we choose to immigrate for different reasons however all of us immigrants have one thing in common we're looking for a more dignified life which we are hoping Canada can offer. And this first actual interaction with the Canadian Government is making me really wonder...