To My Stingy University

Subject: To My Stingy University
From: The disgruntle student
Date: 29 Nov 2017

I pay you thousands and thousands of dollars per quarter for services here on campus. Yet you stingy jerks ask me to pay fifteen cents for printing!! Why?!? Was my thousands of dollars not good enough for multiple printers but it was good enough to add millions of staff parking spots!! Oh that reminds me, thanks a lot bozos for deciding to add a huge building to campus I am just going to love that big beautiful meditative view of grey blocks and the rocking construction noises during finals week. Thank you I really love it. Did you ever think abut maybe investing in any number ply toilet paper instead of that sand paper on a roll you got going on? On the subject of bathrooms, hygiene its your friend not your enemy I beg of you to please clean those filthy stalls.
How about instead of building millions of buildings no one will use why don’t you revamp the building we already have. Have you sat in the library recently? Every chair is covered in questionable stains and the lighting is terrible for studying and the occasional selfie. Oh and I know what you are thinking “ the library is great we just added a 3-D printer”. Dude listen to me and listen close because I will not repeat myself, okay. The 3-D printer has been down since the school year began. So I wont believe it until I see it, also with the tons of coin I give you each quarter I better have nine 3-D printers!! Also lets just replace those books in the library while we are at it and just add better WiFi so I can access documents and research faster. Another point I would like to bring up is the limited number of study rooms in the library, What the hell is wrong with you Its advertised as a study room not a study closet.
Also why is the price of food on campus so unbelievable high? Six dollars for a white bread Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, are you kidding me? What did the peanuts come from God himself? Grape jelly, like who even eats that? Was it imported from the vineyards of mount Olympus? Don’t even try to rebuttal, we all know its some cheap brand less white bread jelly and peanut butter. Also would it kill you to offer promo codes at the bookstore. The price of textbooks are outrageous!! It’s like I am buying a new television set every time I have to purchase just one text book. I could buy twenty round trip tickets to Vegas for the price of one biology textbook! Then you have the nerve to buy my book back from me at a fraction of the cost , you act like the six dollars back for a nine hundred dollar book isn’t the worst trade deal ever. Oh and the Starbucks line is just to damn long!!!

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