To the man I love: I did not love you to have you.

Subject: To the man I love: I did not love you to have you.
From: The Girl Who Loves You Most
Date: 20 Mar 2017

I did not love you to have you.

I love you so I can lean on your shoulder at night as we talk the whole time and wait for the darkness to say goodbye to the sky. I love you so I can look at you on your random times; when you snore, when you pick your nose, when you frown, when you complain about how stupid the society could be. I love you so I can rest my head on your chest and hear your heartbeat as you tell me stories which does not make sense most of the time but I will listen because I love to hear your voice. I love you so I can hold your hand in the street when it’s dark or whenever I feel like I want to or every time we walk together. I love you so I can argue with you about small things only to apologize in the end. I love you so I can annoy you everyday but you won’t be able to get rid of me. I love you so I can hug you every time my world is falling apart. I love you so I can tell you that you are my blessing and I am lucky that God got bored and made you. I love you so I can whisper to your ear that you are just the best. I love you so I can love you endlessly and you won’t have a choice but to let me because you knew how stubborn I can be. I love you so I can tell you I love you.

I did not love you to have you;
But I have you.

Times got rough and smashed us to the edges but you still smile with me even when there are tears in your eyes. I’m not easy to love but you still stay with me til morning. I am stubborn but you are still so patient with me. I am annoying but you still choose to keep me. You choose to keep me everyday even I make you tired. You keep me despite the fact that I am a big fat pain in the ass. You choose to keep me when it is so much easier to lose me.

I did not love you to have you.
But I have you anyway—
For that, I am the luckiest.

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