A Letter To My Abuser

Subject: A Letter To My Abuser
From: Me
Date: 5 Dec 2017

I was just a kid. Two years old at first, and then eight when you raped me. They defend you; you were only a year older than me. You knew it was wrong. I knew it was wrong. I told you to stop. Your parents told you to stop.
You knew about sex way before me. You knew what it was and how it worked and who was supposed to do it. You knew you weren’t supposed to do it to me.
You knew that private parts were private. I didn’t and you used it against me. I thought that it was all fine, that I was weird for not liking it. I thought I was broken. You were the one that was broken, but in the end you broke me.
It took me until I was twelve to learn that my body belonged to me. It took me until I was twelve to think of what happened as abuse. It took me until I was twelve to say the word rape to myself. Rape. A twelve year old girl, at two in the morning, saying “Rape.” About what happened when she was eight. A twelve year old girl learning what happened to her, learning the word penetration, a twelve year old girl being stripped of her innocence and grace. A twelve year old girl learning about abuse.
I tried to kill myself when I realized what you had done to me. A twelve year old irl trying to kill herself.

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