To the guy that doesn't deserve my tears

Subject: To the guy that doesn't deserve my tears
Date: 11 Jun 2017

Dear Hutchins

This letter is probably the last thing I will ever mention of you ever. I'd like to start of by saying you are probably the worst person I have ever met in my entire life. I hope I never meet anyone like you ever and I hope that we will never ever have to cross paths again.

When we first met, you made me feel like I was someone so special to you. Even though you had her in your life, I had the tiniest bit of hope that maybe you'd choose me in the end. That maybe I was worthy of being chosen for once. But boy was I wrong.

You went back to America two years later and not a word since. The last thing you said to me was that you loved me, even then I found that hard to believe. What does that word even mean ? Love ? Well just to let you know, I never did believe it when you said that. You killed the meaning of that word you see. You've ruined my idea of love and relationships.

3 years later, when your sister in law added me on facebook, seeing your surname was like seeing a ghost. I tried to forget about you, I really did. But all these memories, feelings of hurt, anger, confusion, bitterness, it all came flooding back. Suddenly this false hope appears out of nowhere, not that you'd try and win me back, but that maybe you'd come back to apologise. Apologise for something I don't even think you know. Maybe that was all I wanted all this time, an apology. For making me feel like I'm not worth it, for making me your back-up plan, for being a short term fling but most of all for giving me false hope.

The moment I watched your proposal video which happened to be on your sister in laws facebook, I thought I was strong enough to watch it. I did so and felt nothing for a while. I laughed for a long time. I went downstairs and grabbed some cider and drank it as I sobbed myself to sleep. I cried yes. But not for you. Hutchins I hate you and I could never love you but I just want you to know that I hate how you've made me feel worthless and not worthy of being loved. If you ever read this, or not.. I just want you to know, I'm over it and over you and I hope to never ever see you again. Thanks for the memories I guess, of all the things you've taught me, it's to never fall for anyone like you again. May we never meet again.

Never yours,

Santiago

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