To the good people who double as terrible parents

Subject: To the good people who double as terrible parents
From: Your son
Date: 5 Oct 2017

Dear Mom and Dad,

​ You two have provided me many things in life and I can only thanks you for such wonderful gifts, yet as I grew up around many different people my understanding of right and wrong became warped. As parents it should be your duty to introduce me to the wonders of life without hesitation and be there for your child. Whether it comes to explaining how I shouldn't be picky since you couldn't eat as children; saying how in your day you never had the privilege of going to school I would be raised humbly and accordingly to your expectations. As time passes however, those expectations have gone to unusual heights.
As I aged and became more capable of grasping my own ideals I see certain impurities within your logic that I once thought was unchangeable. You once surrounded me with ideas of the Americans being rich whites who only need labor, god being the only true lifestyle, and homosexuality/transsexuals or any other types of ideas were practically considered satanic; It would only be natural to believe them as a growing child as I had no way of learning about them without my wise parents telling me their knowledge.
Now in this generation of mine I have been exposed to these ideas that have been declared wrong, unheard of, taboo. My truth and ideals are my own and now I can say that I am flourishing as a more accepting and progressive individual. But my question is where does that leave the two of you? I mean, how could I still believe the people that tell me lies and treat as if I am property. I may not have been able to notice before but now I can see the actions that you have taken to make me your perfect child.
Mother, you now force me to go to church and want me to join the faith even though I’ve declared myself an atheist, Father tells me his racist comments about people along with giving constant reminders that women are only meant to help the husband. Your views about how a man should live is a misguided attempt to poison and leave me close minded about others. Yet both of you still have the audacity to title yourself as kind and accepting people. I know that you two aren’t open to others, far from it.
You use your religion to make a nonsense reason in order to justify your disgusting insults about a person's skin color, religious or belief. I was fortunate enough to be wary of lies, but the problem isn’t just what you believe, but how those revolting ideas are now being spread to your children. Can I go a day without my younger brother making a homophobic comment thinking it’s completely normal, or my older sibling using racial slurs to insult me. So when I come to either of you complaining about how they're acting, you simply laugh and say they’ll stop eventually; but how many years have you gone saying that phrase?
Your ideologies and views about people other than yourselves have now intoxicated the thoughts of your children leaving us in the same bubble as you. Change your ideas about what we believe in and for some reason that’s too much to ask. Do I have to become an adult with the knowledge and memories of people that criticize me for trying to express myself. Should I choose to cry and “act like a girl” you hit me until I clenched my tears from harassment at schools. When I tried to tell you how I felt sad all the time you told me “To suck it up and act like a man”. Well that “man” attempted suicide because he was left with terrible emotions and sick mental health. Where such a broken heart and unhealthy thoughts made the stainless steel knife in his hand whispering to him the pleasure of death.
Even to this day you don’t even know as when I subtly mentioned it you didn’t even stare at me trying to see if I was lying. Believe your child isn’t happy who says that they’re not happy because they’re alive when questioned or you can allow the amount of male suicide increase from 3 times to 4 compared to women. But this isn’t just taking care of your children, no… this is about making sure they can be happy expressing themselves.
Should I be given a lecture of how god gave me a male body when I ask if I would be accepted as a trans, Should I be almost hit by my father when I tell him I want to dye my hair to pink since as he put it “I’ll turn gay” or that I should be punished for having a PINK PHONE CASE. Why should the choice of color be present when wanting to protect a valuable item? I could care less about the color but rather about the quality of what that case would be but that doesn’t matter since pink is a girly color. Should a color really define what I’ll become in the future? Should your beliefs be the only reason you can’t accept mine, because your happiness is better than my satisfaction?
I avoid talking about politics because almost everyone in the family are far too close minded about who they want. If I don’t agree with your choice then I don’t understand politics, if I’m seen talking to my female friends then I apparently have multiple girlfriends. Am I able to explain myself when it comes to anything in my life or are you going to simply disregard it for your own idea of what happened? You don’t want me to talk to other people if they aren’t catholic so when before they introduce themselves, I ask them to lie about their religion.
Should I be held by the hand through a supermarket as Mom sees two men holding hands when I was a child as if I was going to be influenced to it. Dad is so influenced by the church that he would force me to wear a rosary to school until I got fed up with it and threw it away, telling you both that I lost it. I have to study to become a lawyer and find a woman who can cook and take care of the children I don’t plan on having. I don’t plans on marrying anytime soon, and I’ve spent more than enough time in a kitchen to be capable of making my own dinners.
It not only annoys, but concerns me that my parents are as accepting as they proclaim to be, not as accepting as advertised. So how would both of you react if I did something in the future that might have you reject or disown me a your son? As you get older your mind becomes less prudent and that would only mean your tolerance for changes in the family would decrease over time. I’m not planning to follow many of the rules you set for me since those rules are no longer applicable in my time.
Whether you want to listen to me, accept my beliefs, tolerate my own decisions that is yet to be found out, but for now I’ll do my best to be your son. I’ll do my best to make you happy. I’ll do my best to satisfy not just your needs but my heart. I’ll do my best to avoid the ideas that tempted my death. I’ll do my best to accept your views. I only ask that you’ll do your best to accept mine.

​-Wholeheartedly,
Your son

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