The girl who could no longer take the pain

Subject: The girl who could no longer take the pain
From: A lost soul
Date: 2 Sep 2017

To start off, I would like to give my apologies for this sad event, for I know my love ones will be sadden maybe to go a bit further to say disappointed. Momma, you may even say I’m selfish for the decision I have made, and I feel as if I cannot disagree for maybe I am. To be completely honest I know my life has been short lived, I cannot continue with this enduring pain. For my heart has been broken for it seems as if time cannot fix this deepening pain. It has been half a year and I still cannot go a night without tears running down my cheeks; I miss her and know I will never find a love as true; to me she was my life and to lose her I know I can no longer deal with the pain. I feel as if I have no one to express these feelings to anymore for I have told you all before, but now my problems are redundant and no one seems to understand. Problems will forever creep in my shadow and haunt my thoughts, and to me the worth of this lurking my every move is not enough for me to continue this life. My heart hurts and every thought throbs and nothing can ease the pain except for everything to end.
So, momma and daddy I want you to know I love you and will always have you both in my heart. Thank you for everything you both have done for me.
AL, you were my best friend and for a while you were enough to keep me sane, but for this pain has grown to be too much. I’m sorry to leave you, but I know you are strong enough to overcome my departure.
JS, for you are my one and only I love you more than words can describe, and I’m truly sorry for I was not enough for you and that destroys me. I’d like to also apologize for the way I left for as time has passed and I know now for that was immature and an act of rage. My love for you has become too much and it eats at me, and now it has taken too much from me I can no longer go through this life without you, for every thought I have consists of you. I just want you to know I honestly tried to give you my all I would do anything for you, but to know my all was still not enough is pushing me over the edge. Also, knowing there is no recovery is the breaking point for me. I have seen you between the time everything fell apart and now, and you don’t even breathe in my direction it is as if you have never met me, but for me it is not as easy to forget the time I have spent with you. It breaks my heart to know how easy it is for you to move on, but I suppose that it is different for everyone. But now I can finally be at ease for I have made the decision to end my own pain and suffering; just know for I will always love you.

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