I got assigned to read the age of innocence not knowing if I would like it or even relate to it. In case you haven’t read it, it was about a man who was trapped in a viscous love cycle and throughout the story he fights between doing the “ideal” thing (marrying May) and going with what his heart desires (being with Ellen). Throughout the whole novel, Archer fights these ideas of who he wants to be with, the issue was represented by his society coaxing him to do what is sensible but his heart was guiding him to do what HE desired. I chose this because I’ve gone through this very recently being forced by my mother to make adesicion I didn’t want to make. Instead of staying with who I was with, I forfeited my happiness and their happiness to appease my mother. After I moved back in at home, she really pushed for me to forget the person I love and be with someone who was more acceptable in HER view, so I went along with it and hated every second of it. I mean sure this new boy was a good and logical choice and it surley made everyone happy but the fact of the matter was that I still loved the first guy and being witht the second guy was ok but I was only with him to make my family happy and I wish I could have changed the outcome. If I could change the way I reactd to my mother and family, I would have never left the first guy at all. Doing this affected me in ways I cant even describe which is why I want to inform people on the subject. Your OWN happiness is all that really matters right or wrong, which is ironic because there is no WRONG way to feel. So with that being said, to anyone who is in a love triangle or just can’t choose, we all go through it at some point in some shape or form and choosing the wrong “thing” can really affect you in ways you just can’t get over.
I would like to try and help clear things up within the thinking process of how to “choose” between our options #1 and #2. To maybe prevent the heart ache. We can all relate to Newland Archer in the sense that having to choose between two things you love can be heart breaking and it can sometimes affect those around you but also in the book, Archer proves that choosing what “should” be chosen, doesn’t always have to be bad, but deep down your choice will always hurt in some way because what you choose will always live with you, just like what I had to go through. Basically option 1 is ok and cool or whatever, it won’t kill you to choose it (it’s the safe choice) but option 2 is “risky” and exciting and it’s what you truly want even though you know it will hurt those around you so like Newland Archer we have to make a choice: safety or what’s really in your heart. And I highly suggest choosing what’s in your heart even though It’s hard because I can tell you first hand what it’s like to go through this love triangle and what it’s like trying to make everyone happy. The fact of the matter is that you can’t physically make everyone happy anyway, plus YOU are the one who has to live with your choice, not the people around you.